


Crossroads

by jagseun



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cliche, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Humor, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Markjin, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2020-02-16 18:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jagseun/pseuds/jagseun
Summary: From the moment Jinyoung met Mark he knew that their paths were destined to cross time and time again.chaptered markjin slice of life cliché college au.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, in shocking news (even to me) I am back with a new multi-chaptered fic. This is actually a fic I started planning back in 2016 which is… wild. It’s kind of been sitting in my drafts and I think about it in random spurts and suddenly have to open the document and jot down more ideas I have for it. It’s been sitting dormant for quite a while now though- but I actually got reminded of it watching He Is Psychometric. Don’t let that scare you though this is NOWHERE near a crime thriller or anything, I’m not going to mention which parts of the drama reminded me of this though. It should become clear… eventually.
> 
> This is actually slice of life, college au, and SUPER cliché, because let’s be real- I love clichés. I love sappy moments, I love stereotypical markjin tropes, I love love. This has kind of turned into my dump for all that, not saying it’s entirely mushy markjin but there's a lot of it so be prepared. 
> 
> This fic has been with me for so long that it does mean a lot to me so… I hope you give it a read and please be kind to me, lmao.

The sun had barely risen above the horizon when Jinyoung was rushing to get ready; pulling endless amounts of button up shirts and khaki pants out of his drawers and laying them across his bed.

He had already picked out an outfit for today but when he put it on that morning it didn’t look as great as the night before; so he ditched it and started looking for an alternative.

“Jinyoung,”  His uncle yawned as he spoke to Jinyoung from his bedroom door.  “Are you going on a date at seven in the morning?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,”  Jinyoung started sloppily folding his clothes back up and shoving them back into his drawers.  “I’m going to the airport to pick up a friend.”

Jinyoung had only lived with his uncle for the past two weeks but there was still a lot to get used to, the most apparent were the two tiny bedrooms they lived in atop his uncle's club, and the paper-thin wall between them.

“You’re putting a lot of effort into your outfit for just picking up a friend at the airport.”  He joked.

“Kwon-”

“Hey!  What did I say about calling me by my full name?  ‘Uncle Jo’ is enough.”

“Sorry, _Uncle Jo_.” Jinyoung hadn’t gotten used to this living arrangement yet, so addressing Kwon as an uncle, even though he was his real uncle, felt extremely weird.  He was also almost sure their ages couldn’t have been that far apart, he thought of him more as his rambunctious older brother.

Jinyoung decided to keep the outfit he had on.  If he spent any more time here nitpicking he would be late.  

“I need to go,”  Jinyoung said as he passed by Kwon on the way out the door.  “Is it alright if I borrow your car? I thought you would be sleeping anyway...”  Kwon worked in his small club downstairs until the wee hours of the morning so his usual sleep schedule didn’t have him waking up until almost evening,

“You’re... driving?”  

“Yes,”  Jinyoung didn’t want to drive in all honesty, but there was no point in picking someone up at the airport by bus. “It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal for someone who hates driving, now I’m really curious who you’re picking up that could be so important.”

Jinyoung caught himself smiling and tried to fix his face back into a frown but it was too late.

“Are you sure this is a friend?  You’re smiling like you’re about to go pick up the love of your life.”

“I’m seriously late.”  Jinyoung walked under where Kwon’s arm was resting on his door frame trying to block his way.  He wasn’t in the mood for an interrogation.

“Alright, have fun!”  Kwon called out to Jinyoung as he sprinted downstairs, grabbed the car keys, and fumbled out the front door and down the stairs.

Jinyoung was lucky he had planned to leave so early to counteract his slow driving speed.  At this rate he would be a little late; but what flight actually touched down on time?

He felt uneasy climbing into the driver’s seat of his uncle’s car, but he knew this was not the time to let his fear get the best of him.  He took a few deep breaths and started the car, slowly pulling out of the parking spot and driving down the road to the airport.

Mark was waiting for him, so he had to stay strong.

* * *

 

The airport was busy when Jinyoung got there, speed walking his way to the correct gate.  Mark’s flight from LA had landed so he could walk out at any moment.

He saw all the people waiting for others and suddenly felt bad that he showed up empty-handed.  Would a sign have been too over the top? Mark had only been away for two months. Would it be weird to greet your best friend with flowers?  Those were always available.

In the end, he decided to stay put, not wanting Mark to walk out while he was gone.

Slowly, people started filing out of the gate and meeting up with their family and friends.  Every time someone appeared he got excited, but every single time it wasn’t Mark.

After what seemed like forever Jinyoung finally spotted a long t-shirt paired with ugly camo cargo pants he had somehow grown to love.

Mark’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw Jinyoung; dropping his suitcase and running towards him.

“JINYOUNGIE!”  One minute Mark was yelling and the next he was shamelessly jumping right into Jinyoung’s arms, swinging his legs up to wrap around Jinyoung’s waist.

Usually, Jinyoung would be embarrassed having this much people staring at him in a public place, but he was so overjoyed seeing Mark he didn’t care.  He latched his arms around him and started swinging him around in circles, giggling like nobody was watching.

As soon as Mark had his feet back on the ground Jinyoung pulled his cap to confirm nothing drastic had happened back home.  He breathed a sigh of relief when he still had the mop of messy dark brown hair atop his head. “I missed you.”

“Really?  It’s only been two months.”  Jinyoung had missed everything about Mark, even his endless teasing.

Mark had been Jinyoung’s best friend for the past four years.  He met him in his first year of high school not long after his mother passed away.  It was Jinyoung’s assignment to get him acquainted to the school and tutor him in Korean since his family had just moved from America and he was completely clueless about everything.

At that time Jinyoung was going through the biggest slump of his life, and his teachers saw right through him.  He was a top student but his grades were falling rapidly. He had lost the will to do anything.

Mark was kind of like an assignment he couldn’t ignore.  Every single day Mark showed up with his bright red hair and handsome face ready to learn.  Jinyoung had to put up his best façade and show him around the school, flexing his broken English and trying not to look so depressed he’d scare him all the way back to America.

It was Mark who suggested that they take some extra time and hang out after school as well, so they could exchange some more Korean conversation and help Mark get accustomed to normal chatting rather than forcing grammar rules into his head.

Jinyoung couldn’t say no.  His teachers were breathing down his neck over this whole thing, if he couldn’t do this he would not only disappoint his teachers but he would let Mark down.  He was so cheerful even when Jinyoung hadn’t cracked a smile since the moment he met him.

Mark told him to meet at the park behind the school since it was usually empty before all the young children came rushing out of school an hour later.

Jinyoung decided to drop by the convenience store before they met up, it was extremely hot that day and he was craving something cold.  He grabbed his favourite chocolate ice cream, one for him and one for Mark as well.

Mark was sitting on a bench waiting for him when he arrived, so Jinyoung quickly sat down and said in English that he brought him some dessert.

Mark stared at the tube in front of him, completely confused.

Jinyoung shoved it into Mark’s hands and decided to demonstrate himself.  He ripped open his own tube and squeezed the chocolate cream out the small tip at the end.

At that Mark’s entire body shivered, his face twisted, and he yelled ‘WHAT? EW.’

That was the first time Jinyoung had laughed in a very long time.

“Hello, Earth to Jinyoung?”  Mark asked, shaking him by the shoulders.  “Did you zone out?”

“Sorry,”  Jinyoung snapped back to reality, reaching down to grab Mark’s hand.  “I parked outside let’s talk more in the car.”

“Oh?  You drove here?”

“Yes, it was the easiest way so…”  When they got out to the car they both exchanged a look of understanding as Mark got handed the keys and slipped into the driver’s seat.  Jinyoung sat in the back right behind him.

Mark’s family had only moved to Seoul for work, but after Mark graduated high school they relocated back to America.  Jinyoung was absolutely devastated when he realized that Mark would be leaving Korea for good after graduation.

A month later Mark surprised Jinyoung with the news that he would be coming back to Korea by himself to attend the same university, and Jinyoung almost burst into tears he was so elated.

“I’ll drive over to the university first so I can check into my dorm and drop my stuff off but after that, we can hang out.”  Mark said as he clicked the address into the GPS and started the car.

He was Mark’s roommate, but plans fell through due to the sudden appearance of Jinyoung’s uncle.

His mom's’ brother had been an enigma for the longest time since Jinyoung had stayed with his dad’s sister’s family for so many years now and Kwon didn’t even attempt to get in contact.

Prior to everything the only time he recalled seeing Kwon was when he was a small child.  He would come in spontaneous visits with the best gifts. Jinyoung was always glad to see him not only because of the gifts- but because he was the only family his mom seemed to have.  Whenever he asked his mom about any other family she explained that they were not close anymore and left it at that.

Jinyoung was miserable living with his dad’s family, and Kwon had already been almost completely out of touch with the family at that point, but the month after Jinyoung graduated high school he got a call out of the blue trying to reconnect.

Jinyoung was hesitant at first, knowing that he had basically abandoned him for so many years, but he didn’t know his story.  So he agreed to meet, and it turns out he was one of the coolest people he’d ever met. When he learned where Jinyoung was going to university he got so excited, telling him how he lived only fifteen minutes away and he should move in with him to help save money.

He was a saving a _ton_ of money by doing this, but his heart was still a little sad he couldn’t have that dorm life with Mark as he envisioned.  Mark was pretty supportive of him reconnecting with his uncle too. Either way, he was an adult now and he was happy overall that he finally got to leave the hell hole that was his aunt’s house behind for good,

“You have a roommate, right?”  Jinyoung silently scorned those who got to live with Mark instead of him.

“Two roommates actually, there are three people in my room.”

“It’s one of those tiny rooms?”

“Yes, unfortunately, that’s all first years get, I couldn’t even pay more money to get a room to myself.   We have a communal bath and shower room for the entire floor as well.”

“That sounds… gross.”  Perhaps Jinyoung wasn’t regretting that he was missing dorm life so much after all.

“Sounds perfect for you Jinyoung, it’s not like you shower much anyway.”

“What?!”  Jinyoung huffed.  “It’s been three years, can you drop that already?  I shower regularly now.”

Jinyoung had offhandedly told Mark that when he was younger when he got super gross and sweaty in the summer instead of showering he would stand in front of his AC until he was dry and consider himself clean.  Mark has taken the joke way too far since then.

“How can I believe that if I don’t see it myself?”

“You want to watch me shower?!”

“If you’d let me,”  Mark burst out laughing.  That shrill laugh of his was like music to Jinyoung’s ears after so long.  “I’m kidding, I’m just imagining the water running black after you finally shower after a month of the sweat seeping into your skin.”

“At least I left my house this summer, I’m pretty sure you spent half your time back home gaming with your friends online even though you could go out and see them in person instead.  Did _you_ remember to shower?”

“You want to smell me?  I can assure you I smell like honey and magnolia at any given time.”  Jinyoung was glad to know Mark was still exactly the same after so much time away, he even missed their little petty arguments they had all the time.

Jinyoung leaned forward toward the seat in front of him.  “Okay, raise your arm up, let me smell your armpit.”

“Ew.”  Mark squeaked.  “My armpit is off-limits, don’t you know you’re supposed to keep both hands on the wheel while driving, Park Jinyoung?”

“I’m really doubtful the magnolias could permeate all your crevices, but I’ll let it go for now so you can concentrate on the road.”  Jinyoung sat back in his seat, satisfied he had won this one.

Mark laughed it off as he always did.  It wasn’t a true argument between them unless Jinyoung got the last word and Mark gave in.

Pulling up to the dorms Jinyoung accompanied him as he picked up his room key at the office and rolled his suitcase into the elevator up to the seventh floor.

Mark’s room was tiny, two bunks beds on one side of the room and a single bed on the other side.  Three tiny desks and an even tinier closet took up the rest of the space.

“Looks like I’m the first one here,”  Mark said as he dumped his stuff on the single bed, claiming it for himself.  “You snooze you lose.”

“This entire place is barely bigger than my tiny attic room at Kwon’s house.”  Jinyoung said as he examined the place, double checking to make sure there were no hidden rooms he was missing,

“Then maybe I should move in.”  Mark suggested.

“I don’t think Kwon is ready to harbour strangers in his house yet, plus he’s already convinced the room is way too small for me and he feels bad about it.  He would probably freak out if I showed him this place and said three people have to share it.”

Mark sighed.  “Let’s not stay here for too long, I’m already feeling claustrophobic,”  Mark said while putting his shoes back on. “I’m in the mood for ice cream.”

“We’re going to have to find a new park though.”

“Why?”  Mark suddenly turned around and stared up into Jinyoung’s eyes.  “I’m rather fond of this ‘Park’ I have right here.” Mark said, twisting the word park in English and making an awful pun.

“Seriously, why are we friends again?”

“Shut up, I know you secretly love my puns.”

Jinyoung did love them, but he would never openly admit that.

* * *

 

The sun that blazed in the sky that day reminded him of the first time they had been on one of their ice cream dates, the day Jinyoung had finally let go of everything holding him back and embraced a life of moving forward.

Mark was already tearing into his tube of ice cream, now a pro at ripping off the top and shoving one end into his mouth after the countless times they had done this together.

The new park was much bigger than the tiny playground behind their high school.  It had a huge field and a gorgeous fountain.

“Slow down, I only bought one ice cream each.”  Jinyoung said, as Mark had already finished half of his.

“I can’t let it melt in the package, then it gets all gross, trust me.”  He retorted, eating even more at a breakneck pace.

Jinyoung decided to let him be.  When he complained about being finished in a minute Jinyoung was fully ready to ignore him.  “Well, I haven’t got any good stories about the past two months I spent alone, what about you?”

“Dramatic as usual I see, didn’t you move in with your uncle two weeks ago?  How is that going?” Mark and Jinyoung always kept in touch via online messaging and phone calls, but due to time zones they never really got to have long conversations.

“Everything’s tinier, but it’s still a hundred times better than living with my aunt.  When I told her I was moving in with Kwon instead of into the dorms the look on her face was priceless.”  

“I can only imagine.”  Usually, when they hung out in high school Jinyoung would always go to Mark’s place to escape from his aunt.  Mark had only met her once or twice but he agreed that she wasn’t delightful in the slightest. Mark’s family in comparison seemed like angels, but Mark always told him they were only like that when he was around.

“It’s been really nice, the only thing I miss is having home-cooked meals every day.  The only solid food in Kwon’s house is cereal, everything else we eat is take-out or bar snacks.”

“Sounds like you’re getting the dorm life experience after all.”  Mark yawned into his soft laughter.

“You must be super jet lagged, you should’ve just went to bed-”

“I wouldn’t dare miss hanging out with you as soon as possible,”  Mark smiled through his sleepy gaze. “Besides, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Something you want to talk about?”  Jinyoung questioned. “You sounded almost serious for a moment there.”  Mark was never serious unless you got him really riled up.

“No um, “  Mark fidgeted nervously as he swallowed down the last of his ice cream.  “It’s not _that_ serious, but I mean it is to me- kinda?”  

Mark’s voice got quieter as he tried to speak, tripping over some of the words.  He was only like this when they were first getting to know each other. “Did something happen?”

“Well, nothing sudden.  Actually, it’s something I should’ve told you um- a while ago, but I wasn’t sure if I was… if it was real?”  

Jinyoung felt confused..  Mark was an easy-going guy; it was weird seeing him so nervous about something.  “You’re scaring me.”

“It’s nothing bad- I think.”

“You think?”

“Well, you see…”

“Yes.”  Jinyoung stared at him.  

“I…”

“You’re ill?”

“No-”

“You’re dropping out of school?”

“No-”

“You’re-”  Jinyoung gasped.  “A vampire?!”

“NO-”

“Mark, what-”

Mark grabbed Jinyoung by the shoulders and straightened his body so he was facing him.

“Jinyoung, I’m gay.”  He said, barely louder than a whisper.

Jinyoung sat that for a bit as that info slowly sunk in.  “Oh.”

“Oh?  Is that all.”  Mark tried to smile but his face contorted into some weird expression out of his evident nervousness.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”  Mark was Jinyoung’s closest friend, and above all Jinyoung was most unnerved over the fact that he hadn’t figured this out himself.

“I mean, you are the first person I’m telling honestly,”  Mark said, leaning back against the bench and running a hand through his hair.  “Back in high school I still hadn’t really come to terms with it, I even went through a slump in our last year trying to figure myself out.”

In all the years Jinyoung had known Mark he had only been in one relationship.  It was in their third year of high school, her name was Wendy. Jinyoung never really liked her but she was undeniably sweet and head over heels for Mark so he couldn’t complain too much.

The relationship fizzled out naturally over summer break when she realized Mark still preferred videos games over hanging out with her.

In their last year, Mark seemed perfectly normal but Jinyoung knew Mark was a genius at hiding his worries and smiling through the pain.

That’s why Jinyoung checked his hair every time they met up.  It became a funny trend that Mark would bleach his hair some random colour when he got stressed.  He dyed it red right before he moved to Korea, he bleached it a dusty blond the day after his dog passed away, he even had soft lavender curls after Wendy officially dumped him.  That was always how Jinyoung knew something was up.

Jinyoung tried to think about their last year of high school, but Mark had kept his hair dark for the entire year, so he never realized anything was wrong.  Maybe he did that on purpose.

“I’m sorry,”  Jinyoung blurted out.  “I didn't know you were feeling down that entire time-”

‘Jinyoung, that’s not your fault.  I’m feeling better now, I decided over my visit back home that I’d embrace myself completely, new school new me.  A fresh start.” Mark explained.

“Well, that’s amazing.  Great.” Jinyoung said, plastering a smile on his face.

“I knew you would accept it, considering your uncle’s gay and everything but that isn’t what I’m worried about.”

“What _are_ you worried about?”

“Treat me the same as you always did, okay?  This doesn’t change our relationship at all.”

Jinyoung crossed his legs, smiling smugly.  “Why would I treat you differently?” He uncrossed his legs and crossed them the other way.

“See, you’re already acting weird.”

Jinyoung had no idea why this sudden veil of unease fell over him.  He had absolutely no problem with Mark being gay, but Mark was right.  It did feel like something had shifted in their relationship, and Jinyoung hated it how well Mark knew him.  “No, I’m not,” Jinyoung’s ice cream had long melted in his hand, he had only realized at that moment. “Wait, are you going to tell me you have a boyfriend now?  Back home?”

“No, Jinyoung,”  Mark sighed. “Pretend I never even told you, okay?”

“Don’t look at me like that, I hate when you look at me like that,”  Mark’s lips had morphed into a slight pout, Jinyoung’s ultimate weakness.  “I was kidding, you know I support you with my entire heart and I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me first.”

“Thank you.”  Mark’s face softened.  “You want more ice cream?  You didn’t even eat yours.”

“I need to get back home, and you need to get some rest.”  Jinyoung decided, sitting up and taking Mark’s hand in his, but he suddenly felt weird.

Jinyoung always held Mark’s hand when they did stuff together, it was the most natural thing in the world for him- yet it didn’t feel right anymore.  “Sorry,” Jinyoung said as he pulled his hand away. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“No,”  Mark immediately snatched his hand back.  “What did I just say?”

Jinyoung’s head was buzzing, over thinking what he should do.  “Not to treat you any differently?” _Shit_ , he had already messed up.

“Unless _you_ don’t want to hold hands anymore, because you’re not comfortable..”

“No!”  Jinyoung said as he gripped Mark’s hand tighter.  “That’s not it at all.”

“Okay.”  Mark said, the moment ruined now.

“Okay.”  Jinyoung replied, knowing he was the one ruining everything.

They walked to the car together but it wasn’t long before their hands naturally separated and they walked in silence back home.

* * *

 

Jinyoung was lying in bed, staring at his ceiling, thinking about how much of an idiot he was.

Mark told him something so personal and instead of accepting and supporting him right away he suddenly got so defensive and ruined everything.  Mark’s first day back in the country and Jinyoung already messed it up.

He picked up his pillow and stifled a loud groan.

Just then, the music started blasting from the bar below, reverberating through his room and making his bed vibrate.

The first time Jinyoung had experienced this he freaked out, there was no way his uncle would know how loud it was right below him because he was always in the club when it was going on.  He knew there was no way Kwon would turn the music down- it was a party scene every day of the week for god’s sake. So he pulled it together and invested in many many sleeping pills.

Tonight was Beyoncé night, _Single Ladies_ blaring in his ears as soon as 10PM hit.  

Eventually, he got used to the music, and the bed vibrations almost helped him get to sleep in a weird way where it was like being massaged very lightly.

Without thinking, he picked up his phone and opened his messages with Mark.

_Jy2022:  hey, do you want to hang out again this week?  I’m always down for ice cream._

Jinyoung wasn’t sure if he had offended Mark today but he felt better when he saw Mark typing back right away.

_Mtuan93: i dunno yet.  let me see what my classes are like and finish moving into my dorm and i’ll get back to you._

_Jy2022: ok, i’ll get to sleep then.  good night._

Jinyoung put his phone back down on his bedside table after waiting ten minutes with no reply from Mark.

He whispered a silent goodnight to his mom before shutting his eyes and waiting for the pills to kick in.

He fell asleep that night knowing things would only go downhill from here.


	2. Chapter 2

“Wow, you’re a literature major?  You like reading that much?” Jinyoung looked down at the man in front of him, he had bright doe eyes and a muscular build.

“Jackson, that’s not how you greet people.”  Mark tried to sound upset but he was still laughing about it.

It had been a few days since the ice cream meetup when Mark texted him asking if he wanted to come and check out his dorm now that he settled in.

Mark still seemed a bit awkward when they met up.  Usually, he would greet him with a hug or something but today they just kind of waved to each other and went on with their lives.

“I do like reading that much, actually.”  Mark must’ve told his roommates about him before his arrival.  “I’m Jinyoung, nice to meet you both.”

Jackson was already coming in for a hug.  “A friend of Mark is a friend of mine!” Jinyoung hugged him back uncomfortably- he really only hugged close friends.

“Jaebum!”  Jackson yelled up at the top bunk.  “Come down and say hi too.”

“I can say hi from up here,”  Was the quiet response. “Hi.”  Jaebum leaned only slightly over the edge of the bed and waved down at him, before going back to scrolling on his phone.

“I’m sorry, Jaebum is anti-people,”  Jackson explained. “Mark is great though, we have so much in common!”  Jackson said swinging an arm around Mark.

They hardly knew each other for two days, but they already seemed like they’d been friends for ages.  Mark wasn’t one to open up immediately, so the fact they were this close made Jinyoung a little jealous.  Just a little. “Is that so?”

“We’re both basically Chinese, we speak the same three languages, we’re both gay, we both used to play basketball when we were younger…”  Jackson kept on listening but Jinyoung’s mind stopped absorbing after ‘we’re both gay.’

“You’re both gay?”  Jinyoung blurts it out before he could stop himself.  “I mean, that’s a coincidence.” He tried to backpedal.

“Oh, I know right!”  Jackson exclaimed. “Unfortunately, Jaebum is straighter than a needle, we could’ve been three for three!”

“I’m good, you guys can date all you want as long as you keep me in the dark.”  Jaebum said, this time not even bothering to lean over and look at them.

“Just because they’re both gay doesn't mean they’re dating-”  Jinyoung cuts in. “I’m friends with tons of girls that doesn’t mean I’m dating them.”  Jinyoung doesn’t even know why he had to interject.  _ He wasn’t even friends with tons of girls, but if he was he wouldn’t be dating them. _

“Hmm, Mark is pretty cute.”  Jackson mused.

“Sorry,”  Jinyoung pulled Mark from underneath Jackson’s arm, back to his side.  “He’s unavailable.”

Mark stared at Jinyoung incredulously.  “No, I’m not.”

Jinyoung gripped Mark’s arm tighter.  “I know classes haven’t started yet, but university isn’t a joke.  You should focus on studying for your classes, and actually figuring out what you want to do.  Remember? You need to choose a major by next year.”

Mark was an undeclared major, meaning he had the free range to take whatever classes he wanted as long he picked something concrete by his second year.    


Mark had always struggled when it came to choosing exactly what he wanted to do, but his parents were adamant on him attending university.  Moving back to Korea was all Mark’s decision though.

Mark pulled his arm out of Jinyoung’s grasp.  “I know that already, you don’t need to remind me.”  Mark said, probably not impressed Jinyoung pulled out the  _ major _ card.    


“Wow, Jinyoung takes university so seriously.”  Jackson chided. “Don’t you want to have some fun?  Maybe Jinyoung needs a date too.” Jackson looked Jinyoung up and down and tried to figure him out.

“I don’t need a date.”  Jinyoung tensed up. “I’m not interested in dating.”

“Aw, but I love setting up dates!”  Jackson pleaded.

Jinyoung was getting slightly bothered by how chummy this Jackson guy was after knowing him for a whole ten minutes.  “Stick to your own dates.”

“In that case,”  Jackson pulled Mark back over towards him.  “You think you can handle studying and a date with me, Mark?”

Jinyoung felt his throat get dry when he saw the way Mark smiled at Jackson, knowing he couldn’t intervene again or it would be weird and possessive.  Why did he even intervene in the first place? 

“I’m going to have to pass, Jinyoung’s probably right.”  Mark said, and Jinyoung breathed a huge sigh of relief. 

“That’s no fun, but if it’s a no it’s a no.”  Jackson surrendered. “How about you Jaebum? We should go out!”

“Jackson, if you keep teasing me I assure you will regret it,”  Jaebum yelled back down from his bed. He had only been pretending to not listen to their entire conversation.  “I want to nap, so everyone better leave or be quiet.” Jaebum announced, before putting his phone aside and pulling his blankets up.

“Alright!  Who wants to grab some food?”  Jackson announced to the room. 

“I have more lectures this afternoon.”  Jinyoung said regrettably. 

“That’s alright, then you and me Markie?”

Jinyoung squinted.   _ Markie?   _ He got a pet name for Mark before he did?! 

“Guess so, see you tomorrow in class Jinyoung!”  Mark said before following behind Jackson out of the room, leaving Jinyoung standing there stunned by the turn of events.

Mark had been Jinyoung’s only close friend and vice versa for so long it was weird to see Mark grow so close with someone so quickly.  He literally accomplished something that took Jinyoung months in a matter of two days. 

Their relationship had been so weird since that day in the park, Jinyoung was wondering if perhaps Mark had grown tired?  New school, new me, also meant new friends?

He couldn’t stop doubting himself- Jackson and Mark had so much in common.  Did he even have anything in common with Mark at all? He wracked his brain and came up short- they were so drastically different.

The thought of Mark getting together with Jackson felt like an act of betrayal- but in reality, Mark was not an object and he didn't belong to Jinyoung.  He could do whatever he wanted to do.

“Are you going to stand there and mope or leave?”  Jaebum called from the side of the bed. “If you’re leaving, can you turn off the lights on the way out?  Thanks.”

Whatever was this gross feeling taking over Jinyoung’s body when he thought about Mark needed to stop, or else he would end up not only making their friendship awkward- he would lose it altogether.

That would break Jinyoung completely.

* * *

 

Jinyoung groaned as he walked into the last lecture of his first week of university.  All of his classes seemed super fun and informative so far- he was actually enjoying himself.

His last lecture of that day, however, was a liberal course he had to take to supplement his major.  Not only did it have nothing to do with literature but it was the one class he and Mark decided to sign up for together so they could see each other.

That would’ve been great if Mark was actually talking to him.  He didn’t think Mark was exactly upset with him, but every time he had reached out he had either not responded or said that he was busy.  Jinyoung felt like he had an idea who he was spending so much time with.

When Jinyoung walked into the class he saw Mark immediately, sitting in a back corner scrolling mindlessly on his phone.  He thought maybe he should run, the awkward atmosphere was already dispersing through the room. Instead, he mustered up some courage and plopped down in the seat right next to Mark.

“Hey,”  Jinyoung poked him in the back lightly to get his attention.

“Hey,”  Mark gave him a soft smile.  “What’s up?”

“Nothing much, just getting acquainted with all my classes so far this week.” Mark wasn’t upset but Jinyoung would’ve almost preferred that to this weird limbo they’re stuck in.  “How are your classes?”

“My classes have been good.” 

See, usually by this time Mark would be playing around- making awful jokes, pulling him into hugs but all that had disappeared.  It felt even worse than when they first met- because at least at that time Mark was making an effort.

“That’s… good.”  Jinyoung replied lamely.

He finally really looked at Mark’s face- his eyes were puffy and red.  Jinyoung moved instinctively, leaning in and holding Mark’s chin to get a closer look.

“What happened?  Your eyes are so red.”    


“J-Jinyoung,”  Mark’s voice was shaking.  “I couldn’t really sleep last night, the bed in my room is really dingy.”

Jinyoung noticed how close their faces were then, shooting back into his seat.  His ears were probably burning red at that moment. “Ah, that sucks. I hope you get used to it.”

Jinyoung flushed, which made no sense.  He would literally get much farther up in Mark’s personal space without any problem, but now he felt like it was hard to breathe just from staring into his eyes.

Luckily- the professor decided to start class before the moment could get any weirder.  Jinyoung wasn’t ready to unpack how far their friendship had fallen at that very moment.

The liberal course they had signed up was a course on astrology vs astronomy- neither were really interested in the topic but Mark had read online it was a popular course because it was super easy to pass.  Since they both had a full course load neither of them minded trying to get an easy credit.

The professor started rambling on about the history of pseudoscience and popular beliefs and Jinyoung could already feel himself zoning out, his mind wandering back to Mark.

He had always known he was handsome, it was clear to anyone that got a glimpse that he could have a great career as a model if that’s what he wanted to do.  As a friend Jinyoung never paid too much attention to the sharpness of his features combined with his slender neck and gorgeous dark brown eyes-

_ Shit. _  Jinyoung was staring again.

Mark wasn’t paying much attention himself, doodling fancy lettering into his thin notebook and refreshing his Instagram timeline instead of listening.

Ever since Mark’s confession the week before Jinyoung had been thinking about a lot of things, and number one was why he was suddenly so on edge every time he was around Mark. Was it because now he thought it was possible that Mark could like him way more than friends?

That thought brought the flush back to Jinyoung’s cheeks.

That would never happen, their friendship was too close to mess with and Jinyoung wasn’t interested in that sort of relationship.

At least, that’s what he thought.  That’s the only thing he ever thought. 

Jinyoung decided to actually pay attention and take detailed notes to avoid thinking about Mark because the more he lingered the more stressed he was going to get.    


By the end of the lecture, Jinyoung had two full pages of notes and Mark had 10% battery left on his phone.

“Jinyoung,”  It bothered Jinyoung that Mark was leaving his tradition ‘-ie’ off the end of his name.  “I’m going to check out the school pool, do you want to come with?”

“Oh, I don’t even have a swimsuit or anything though.”  Jinyoung wasn’t that into swimming, and Mark knew that.  


“I was going with Jackson but I thought it would be nice if you tagged along, but that’s fine if you don't want to.”

Jinyoung’s blood ran cold as soon as he heard Jackson’s name.    


“I’m coming.”  Jinyoung declared.

“But, you just said you don’t have a swimsuit?”

“Er,”  Jinyoung might’ve screwed that one up.  “I can watch.”

“You want to watch us swim?”  Jinyoung felt really stupid now, but he didn’t want to leave them alone together.  Half naked. Wet. 

“Yes, don’t worry.  This kind of thing is fun for me, I won’t miss out at all.”

“Um, well that’s cool then,”  Mark bit his lip, his speech toned down again.  “I’m going to get my stuff from my room, meet you there in half an hour?”

“Sure, I’ll be there..”

Jinyoung still didn’t know why he would be there, but he would be there.

* * *

 

Jinyoung felt like a mom sitting in the bleachers watching her children compete in an elementary school swim tournament.

He wasn’t allowed near the pool if he didn’t intend to swim, so he ended up watching Mark and Jackson from high above, thoroughly not enjoying the pungent smell of chlorine attacking his nostrils.

Despite how awkward he felt up there the only thing he was thankful was that Mark and Jackson could barely see him- so he had a good chance to sit and observe.

Right now, they were racing laps across the pool, splashing huge waves of water trying to mess each other up.  Laughing way too much, having a lot of fun. Disgusting.

Mark won the last race, and Jackson suggested for the next one they dive into the water instead to get more propulsion.  The pool was pretty echo-y so he could hear Jackson’s booming voice loud and clear- but he couldn’t hear Mark’s answer at all.

They both got out of the water then, dripping wet with their torso’s completely bare.

Jinyoung’s eyes bulged out of his head when he saw Mark, when did he get so… toned?  Had he been working out for the last two months? His build was still slender but his arms had bulked up considerably, and there was slight ab definition down his midsection.  His swim trunks had even ridden down low enough you could clearly see his v-line peeking out the top.

Jinyoung had leaned forward so far to get a good look he had to catch himself before he fell over the railing.

Jinyoung could feel his ears get hot again, knowing he had ogled so openly it was shameful.  It was weird, he’d seen Mark with his shirt off a handful of times but he’s never had  _ that _ reaction before.

_ Just shake it off Jinyoung, you were just jealous of his muscles or something. _

Jinyoung was suddenly aware of how his body paled in comparison.  He had free access to the university’s gym, perhaps he should look into that.  Also, he should buy a swimsuit.

It seemed as though Mark and Jackson had grown tired of racing, now they were going around to others in the pool and getting them to join in on games.  Those two were literally in university but they had no shame going around like kids rallying together at the community pool.  Jinyoung was almost envious- he got embarrassed a lot by little things like this.  The struggle of forcing himself to grow up was one of his worst inner conflicts. Mark was the one usually keeping the edge off and forcing him to enjoy life a bit more.

Maybe that’s why Jinyoung was feeling so drained not having him around.

Jinyoung had only zoned out for a second, but the next moment he looked down and Mark was sitting on top of Jackson’s shoulders, still soaking wet, the proximity between Jackson’s neck and Mark’s crotch basically zero.

Jinyoung stood up like an idiot about to yell, only to sit back down when he realized how stupid he was being.  They were just playing games but… Jinyoung didn’t feel so good anymore. Maybe the chlorine was getting to his brain.

He wondered if it would be rude to leave, but they couldn’t see him anyway.  They were having too much fun to notice anyway- it was stupid of him to tag along in the first place.

Silently, he picked up all his stuff and exited down the stairs, walked out of the school and back home even though it was only three in the afternoon.

* * *

 

Jinyoung wasn’t expecting to hear back from Mark that same day since his expectations had dropped so low when it came to their friendship, that’s why it startled him when he heard that distinctive text message tone from one Mark Tuan.

Jinyoung had been lying in bed staring at his ceiling for almost an hour, overthinking every little thing.

This past week with Mark should’ve been great, getting ice cream together, hanging out at Mark’s dorm, chatting in class together.  It turned out nothing like what Jinyoung had envisioned.

For the first time since he met Mark, he felt like he was doubting their friendship- because really, why were they friends?  No common interests, no common hobbies, he was even blanking on how they managed to keep each other entertained for the past four years.

_ Mtuan93: jinyoung, did you leave today without telling me?  I was wondering where u went. _

Jinyoung’s heart clenched a bit for thinking Mark wouldn’t even notice.

_ Jy2022: i just remembered i needed to drop by the admissions office to sort out a course swap. _

He felt bad for lying, but he couldn’t straight up tell him he had gotten jealous and stormed out of the pool to mope.

Jealous, ah.  That was the word Jinyoung had tried to run away from this entire time. 

_ Mtuan93:  youve been acting weird lately… there’s still time for ice cream today.  I wanted to talk. _

Jinyoung knew this wasn’t going to go well if the first time was any indication.  When Mark said he wanted to have a talk he really meant he wanted to have a  _ talk. _

_ Jy2022:  i’m free, is 6pm okay?  You get the ice cream. _

Jinyoung almost declined, but he felt like he would only be speeding up the inevitable.

If this friendship was going to end, it would end, but not without Jinyoung trying to explain what was going on with his own words- even if that meant confronting whatever these conflicting feelings were inside of him. 

_ Mtuan93:  alright ill be there _

He wouldn’t give up on this relationship without a fight.

* * *

 

Jinyoung was almost to the park when it started raining.  He contemplated going back home but instead, he ran all the way to the park, on the off-chance Mark had waited for him in this weather.

When he got to the park he saw Mark huddled up inside the middle section of the playground, legs tucked up to his knees and his hair dripping water.  The park was empty at this point- not a soul would be out there with the sounds of rolling thunder in the distance.

“Mark!”  Jinyoung called out as he ran up to him and climbed up the ladder, squeezing into the small spot next to him.  “I thought you wouldn’t come because of the rain.”

“I thought you wouldn’t come either…”  Mark said quietly.

“I wasn't already almost here- it wasn’t a big deal.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think of getting ice cream when I saw the rain..”

“That’s fine, I’m not in the mood for ice cream either.”

They didn’t talk for a moment, the sound of the rain hitting the playground and the muted sounds of distant thunder were making enough noise to swallow up the silence.

“I almost wished you wouldn’t have come.”  Mark whispered. Jinyoung wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t so close to him, their knees both tucked and grazing against each other.

“So you are upset with me.”  Jinyoung knew, but to get such blatant confirmation really hurt him.

“I need to ask you something, and you have to answer honestly,”  Mark started. “You don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you.”

“Then, you hate the fact that I’m gay?”

Jinyoung took a deep breath.  “No, absolutely not.”

“But, it does bother you, right?  You’ve been acting so weird since I told you and… I don’t know.  It really caught me off guard, I thought you would be so understanding as always.  Instead, I felt like you pushed me away.”

Jinyoung let the raindrops fill the silence while he thought of what to say back.    


“That wasn’t my intention at all,”  Jinyoung started. “If anything, I’ve felt closer to you than I ever did before.  That’s why it’s been weird.”

“What are you even talking about?”  The edge in Mark’s voice made Jinyoung’s head shoot up.  “I told you to be honest with me but you’re making no sense.  If you think we’ve gotten closer than I most definitely haven’t gotten the memo.”

Jinyoung noticed that Mark’s eyes were even puffier than they were in class.  Had he caused this? “I don’t know why either.”

“Does it have something to do with Jackson?”  Mark spat. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at him?  Am I not allowed to have other friends?”

Jinyoung’s heart was racing and his mind was shutting down.  All these puzzle pieces in his mind didn’t even seem like they were all to the same puzzle- no matter how much rotating and switching he did nothing made sense.  “I like Jackson-”

“Then why are you so rude to him?”

“I never said you’re not allowed to have other friends, but you’ve been hanging out with him instead of me-”

“That’s because my so-called best friend has acted like he finds every moment he has to spend with me like he’s choking on the air around him.”  It had been so long since Jinyoung had seen Mark so genuinely angry; the last time was when Jinyoung talked about his father. He got so upset on Jinyoung’s behalf he had to calm him down.  “I don’t know what’s your problem, but if you can’t be honest with me then there’s no point in any of this.”

Jinyoung started crying-  he realized this is it. This is the end of a friendship he would never get back.

Mark's about to say something again but Jinyoung doesn’t stick around to hear it.  There’s nothing he hates more than people seeing him cry.

Over the past years, he’d cried tons of times, but only in the comfort of his own bed.  He was always able to hold it in so that nobody would see him break.

He hadn’t cried in public since that one night four years ago in the emergency room.  


The rain felt like it was coming down even harder and Jinyoung leaped down off the playground ladder onto the soft rubber ground below.  His tears mixed into the rain so he let them flow freely. There was no point in holding back now.

“Jinyoung!”  Mark grabbed his arm spun him around with ease.

“Stop, let me go!”  Jinyoung tried to get out of his grasp but Mark had a vice grip on him.  Jinyoung was certain he spent a lot of those two months away working out.

“No, don’t leave,”  Mark begged. “I’m sorry I got upset Jinyoung, but I can’t let you walk out of my life without any proper answers.”

“What do you want me to say?!”  Jinyoung yelled through the tears.

“I want you to tell me the truth, no matter how much it hurts, I need to hear it.”

“The truth?”  Jinyoung spat.  “I was jealous,  _ disgustingl _ y jealous.”  Jinyoung was yelling now, his voice cracking on every word.  “That Jackson guy pissed me off, why were you so close with him when we’ve been best friends for so many years?”

“That’s because you were acting like you  _ hated _ me.”

“Well, That’s not true at all!  I like you so much that being around you makes my heart beat so fast I can’t help but act like an idiot, okay?  Is that what you wanted to hear?” Jinyoung was breathing heavily after spitting out so many words in rapid-fire.  “I don’t want you to hang out with Jackson, I don’t want you to hang out with any other guy but  _ me _ .”

“Jinyoung,”  Mark held Jinyoung’s shoulders as he huffed and puffed, they were both completely drenched.  “Breathe.”

Jinyoung took a moment to catch his breath, realizing that Mark was still standing there and he wasn’t looking upset or confused at all.  In fact, he looked shocked.

“I don’t like Jackson in a romantic way, not even in the slightest,”  Mark said. “Is that why you were acting so strange? Because… you like me?”

Even though Jinyoung was trying to stay calm he felt his heart rate spike again after Mark spoke.  He had hit the nail right on the head- Jinyoung was completely head over heels for Mark and the moment he realized that he could be with him was the moment he couldn’t keep his feelings locked so tightly inside.  He had never acted on them because he knew they would never come to fruition- but to see an end goal in plain sight was frightening and exhilarating. 

“I...well...”  Jinyoung’s chest clenched.  “Yes.”

“Oh,”  Mark stood there, his hands on Jinyoung’s shoulders for what seemed like an eternity.  “Aren’t you straight?”

That’s what Jinyoung had thought- but really he hadn’t had a crush on a girl or a guy before.  He could only see himself together with Mark. “I guess I’m not since I like you.”

“Oh.”  If Mark said  _ oh _ one more time he was ready to punch him in the face.  He had put every single feeling he had out in the open and Mark looked like he had barely processed one sentence.  “Are you sure, like  _ one hundred _ percent sure?”

“I’m dead serious,”  Jinyoung sighed. “I know this is going to ruin our friendship, but I can’t hang around with you without feeling that way I feel, and if you can’t accept that-”

Jinyoung didn’t have a chance to finish that sentence, his words swallowed up by Mark’s lips.  He felt like he was dreaming for a moment- was Mark _ kissing _ him?

It was a short kiss- so short Jinyoung barely registered it.  He needed more.

“Jinyoung, when I told you I was gay it was like my last chance for me to show that I liked you, a lot.  We’ve been so close and yet I was upset over the fact that we’ll never be together because you never considered me more than a friend.  I told you I was gay to see if you said anything then- and if you didn’t I wanted to move on and open myself up to other people,” Mark slicked Jinyoung’s wet bangs up, getting them away from his eyes.  “I really thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore but to know how wrong I was-”

“Mark, please stop talking,”  Jinyoung interrupted. “I’m sorry I acted like such an idiot- but I don’t think I can stand being out here any longer without your lips on mine.”

It was when Mark kissed him again that he realized that every single night they spent cooped up in Mark’s basement playing video games, every morning they walked to school together revising grammar, and every afternoon they sat in the park eating ice cream and laughing until their stomachs hurt, he had always wanted this.  To be closer, so close he was suffocating in Mark’s expensive magnolia cologne.  So close he didn’t know where Mark stopped and Jinyoung began. So close they would never have to separate again because Jinyoung felt like years of build-up had finally come to a startling climax- and he wasn’t ready for this moment to ever end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaay they got together thanks for reading was fun while it lasted phew


	3. Chapter 3

Jinyoung woke up the next morning feeling light-headed.  He was unsure if it was because he was getting sick or because his body was still hot thinking about the previous day.

After a healthy amount of kissing Mark and Jinyoung had to unlatch from each other, the warmth of their bodies could only negate so much of the cold rain falling on them.

Jinyoung was feeling the pain of not living with Mark the most now because not only did that mean they had to part ways prematurely, but it also meant he had to come up with some random story to explain to Kwon why he had been out in a thunderstorm for so long and came home soaking wet.  He went with some tale of coaxing a stray cat out of a tree- which in hindsight was a pretty stupid story but Kwon seemed thoroughly impressed by the entirely made up feat.

The sound of his cell phone ringing made him jump up in bed, grasping at his night table to pick up.  He could recognize Mark’s distinctive ringtone he had set.

“Jinyoungie,”  Mark said softly into the receiver.  Jinyoung missed that name so much, hearing it now felt like finally getting to take a bite of your freshly baked cookies after spending hours making them.  “I think I caught a mild cold, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,”  Jinyoung lied, refusing to let there be any regrets about the day before.  “Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you gonna come visit me at the dorms?”  Jinyoung could almost hear Mark’s pout through the phone.  “I miss you.”

“You just saw me last night.”

“That was a whole… sixteen hours ago?  Way too long.” Jinyoung felt like he was floating on a cloud, how in the world was Mark this  _ cute.  _  He had always been like this but to add that extra level of flirtiness to it made Jinyoung’s heart jump.  He wasn’t sure he could handle this whole being in love thing, he was already feeling like he was losing his will to make rational decisions.

“I have class in an hour, don’t you have class?”

“I can’t go,”  Mark fake coughs twice into the phone.  “I’m sick.”

Jinyoung didn't know what he was going to do with this fool.  “Colds aren’t that bad, but if you need a little TLC I _ might _ be able to drop by for a short visit.”  Jinyoung’s own flirtatious tone was a shock-  _ when did he learn how to talk like that? _

“I’ll run over there and pick you up!”

“I thought you were sick?”

“Oh,”  More fake coughing.  “I’d do anything for you Jinyoungie.”

Jinyoung laughed into the phone, Mark’s silliness had always been next level.  “Alright, I can walk there myself.”

“I’ll be here waiting!”

* * *

 

“Jackson and Jaebum are in class, feel free to sit anywhere you want.”  Jinyoung didn’t have a chance properly spend some time at Mark’s dorm since the last time he had been there for a real visit since he spent it staring a hole into Jackson’s skull.

“You guys barely have chairs,”  Jinyoung said as he sat himself down next to Mark on his bed.  “Also, why would I sit anywhere but next to you?”

There was at most half an hour before Jinyoung had to run to class, but he was still happy he decided to come here first.  “Good, still trying to convince myself yesterday wasn’t a dream.”

Mark’s arm slid behind Jinyoung’s back, and Jinyoung fell into his touch with ease.  “Realer than real.” 

With so little time to spare it wasn’t a shock that Mark went in for the kiss as quickly as he could, Jinyoung was sure they both missed this part the most from the day before.

Kissing Mark still felt surreal- like he’d been missing out on one of the best parts of their relationship for all these years.  His lips were super soft, he was always smothering lip balm all over them so Jinyoung wasn’t too surprised by that. His touch was so gentle as well. His long fingers came up to caress his cheek when they both got lost in the moment.

Mark’s tongue slipping past his lips was something new.  It was a little weird, honestly. Jinyoung wasn’t sure what he had expected.  Mark tasted like the minty toothpaste he probably scrubbed his entire mouth with after he got off the phone, but his strong magnolia scent mixed with the mint taste was surprisingly pleasant to Jinyoung’s senses.

Jinyoung didn’t know what he was doing but his tongue moved against Mark’s on its own, when Mark’s tongue moved Jinyoung’s tongue followed like they were doing a choreographed (but unrehearsed) partner dance.

In reality, it wasn’t about what Mark tasted like or what he smelled like- it was all about what was going on in Jinyoung’s head.  The proximity; even just the thought of Mark’s mouth of his was causing most of the dizziness he was experiencing. 

Jinyoung almost whined when Mark pulled away. “What are we?” 

“Not kissing, which is unacceptable.”  Jinyoung tried to push Mark’s head back towards him but Mark wouldn’t budge.

“No, I’m serious,”  Mark scooched back on the bed and Jinyoung finally gave up.  “Are we like… a couple now?”

Jinyoung wasn’t sure about that title.  He was so used to Mark being his ‘best friend’, he’d rebranded their relationship now to ‘best friend but with kissing’ in his mind. “Are we really a couple?  We haven’t been on an actual date or anything.”

“We’ve been out for enough ice cream to validate us as a couple, in my opinion,”  Mark suggested. “But if you would like an actual date before everything is official, I can arrange that.”

“You’re right those were… pretty much dates.”  The sacred ice cream date was technically the catalyst to the start of their relationship as a couple. 

_ Couple.  _ There was that terrifying word again.  Jinyoung really liked Mark, but the thought of being a  _ boyfriend _ was making him nervous.  “This is a lot, I mean yesterday I was straight-”

“And now you like guys?”

“That’s not exactly true either… I like you.  Only you.” 

“Then what’s with the hesitation?”  Mark was looking at him so softly despite Jinyoung being a brat about this situation.  “Are you scared of liking me for real?”

Jinyoung knew deep in his heart something was holding him back, but he was trying his best not to let it get to him.  “Honestly, it is scary. I know I like you, and I know Kwon wouldn’t care at all but… I don’t even like my aunt and my father's family but I know if they got wind of this it would be a problem.  I know they hate me enough and I shouldn’t care about them anymore, but I don’t know if I would be able to deal with that situation if it ever arose. I don’t even want to think about it.” Jinyoung had always had a part of him closed off and locked away deep inside him, and he wasn’t ready to tell the world.  “People would view us differently.”

“I understand, don’t worry,”  He was lucky Mark knew about all the weird facets of his personality.  “We can keep it between us now but I don’t want to keep it a secret forever.”

“Forever?” 

“It’s just an expression,”  Mark was ruffling his hair like he always did when he was nervous.  “I don’t hate the idea of forever, though.”

Jinyoung was almost getting queasy with the number of butterflies fluttering inside his stomach.  “You can’t say things like this to me yet, we’ve barely been dating a day.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know we always find a way back to each other.”  Mark leaned forward, kissing Jinyoung on the forehead.

“Stop, I need to get to class and I won’t be able to concentrate if I’m only thinking about  _ you _ .”

“You should skip, you’re ruining the moment by leaving so abruptly.”    


Truthfully, Jinyoung needed to get away to calm down and collect his thoughts.  He loved being with Mark but he was having a hard time breathing properly from how in his feelings he was. 

“I don’t skip class, I’m not like you.” 

“Fine, but call me when you’re finished for the day.  I’ll probably still be here since I’m sick.”

Jinyoung could only laugh at this point.  “Deal, later… sweetheart.” 

“That’s way too cheesy.”  Mark said, snorting with laughter.

“I need a cute pet name since Jackson has one I need something  _ cuter _ ,”   Jinyoung huffed.  “Everything is way too cheesy though, maybe I should use one of your funny nicknames from high school?  Kim Kkori?

“No.”

“Honey no jam?”

“No.”

“Little Cock?”  The look on Mark’s face after he heard that was priceless.

“Aren’t you late for class?”  Mark most likely did not want to open that can of worms again.

“Alright, bye... boyfriend.”    


Jinyoung hopes that one put a smile on Mark’s face.

* * *

 

“Yo!”  Jinyoung wasn’t thrilled when Jackson answered the door instead of Mark.

“Hi… Jackson.”  Seeing Jackson still made him uneasy.    


“Are you here to see me or Mark?”  Jackson said excitedly. “I’m kidding, I know you’re here for Mark, he went to the bathroom.”    


“Ah.”  Jinyoung realized that was all the way down the hall. 

“Jaebum is here too,”  Jackson pointed at the top bunk.  “But he's not talking to me for some reason.”

“You know why I’m not talking to you.”  Jaebum’s murmur came from above.

“He’s grumpy as usual, ignore him.”  Jackson tried to move on.

Jinyoung was curious what happened, but he didn’t think he’d get a straight answer from either of them.

‘You’re back,”  The sound of Mark’s voice was a relief.  “What took you so long?” Mark’s arm slipped naturally around Jinyoung’s shoulders.

“I told you I finished at four.”  Jinyoung’s was so aware of the flirty tone his voice took as soon as he talked to Mark- it almost disgusted him.

Jinyoung wanted so badly to scoop Mark into a kiss right then, but he had to wait until they were alone.    


“Where’s my hug?”  Jackson interrupted- Jinyoung almost forgot he was there.

Mark unlatched himself and gave Jackson a quick hug.  He probably would’ve sat there and whined until he got one, and Jinyoung wasn’t so viciously jealous to stop Mark from giving simple hugs.

“Do you want to go swimming again, Markie?”

Jinyoung was definitely.  Not possessive, and was going to let Mark.  Do. Whatever. He. Wants.

“Uh,”  Jinyoung didn’t say a word, but the look on his face was scary enough to send the message.  “I’m going out with Jinyoung tonight, so I can’t.”

Jinyoung didn’t know they were going out tonight, but he was glad they were now apparently.

“Going out?”  Jaebum peered over his top bunk.

“As friends!”  Jinyoung said much too loudly.

Both Jaebum and Jackson were staring at him like he was on the brink of losing his mind.

“That’s too bad, perhaps Jaebum will go swim-”  A pillow flew right at Jackson’s face, stopping him mid-sentence.

“Jaebum seems angrier than usual,”  Jinyoung whispered to Mark. “What’s up?”

“He's really nice, he’s only this way to Jackson,”  Mark whispered back. “Jaebum caught him staring at him outside the shower, and then Jackson asked if he could join him.”

Jinyoung had to fight to hold in his laughter.  “Jackson is pretty shameless, huh?”

“So are you,”  Mark whispered.  “Now I’m banned from the pool.”

“I didn’t say anything!”  Jinyoung shout-whispered.

“What are you guys whispering about?”  


“Nothing,”  Jinyoung assured him.  “We have to go, don’t we Mark?”

“Sure.”  Mark decided to keep playing along, realizing his roommates weren’t going to leave them alone anytime soon.

Jackson barely said bye before Jinyoung whisked Mark into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind him.

The hallway was empty, so Mark pulled Jinyoung in for a kiss.  Jinyoung indulged for a moment, but then quickly pushed Mark away.

“Mark, we’re still in public!”

“There’s nobody in this hallway-”

“Someone could walk by at any moment!”

“Sorry,”  Mark apologized.  “I have a surprise for you waiting downstairs, actually.”

“Surprise?  For me?”

“Actually, don’t get your hopes up.  It’s not that kind of surprise.” 

Jinyoung  followed Mark downstairs and out towards their school parking garage, not knowing what to expect.

“Ta-dah!”  Mark said as he gestured to the car sitting in front of him.  “I got a new rental.”

Jinyoung stared at the run-down car in front of him.  “Is it this car?” Mark also had a rental in his last year of high school, but that was a shiny new BMW that only someone with a budget like Mark’s could afford.  This car looked so old it could’ve belonged to his grandpa.

“It’s um, vintage.”  Mark tried to say. “Anyway, that’s not the point.  The point is we finally have somewhere to hang out and be alone.”

“In a car?”

“Yes.”  Mark took a look on Jinyoung’s face and double-backed.  “I mean unless you’re uncomfortable with it-”

“It’s fine.  I told you it’s not a big deal anymore.”  Jinyoung demonstrated by walking towards the back door and pulling it open.  “Didn’t you lock the door?”

“That door doesn’t actually lock,”  Mark admitted. “But the car runs fine, I swear.”

Jinyoung got in the crusty backseat while Mark got in the front.  “Mark, are you broke?”

“What?”

“You would never rent a car like this, did your family have to declare bankruptcy or something?”  Jinyoung teased, hoping that really wasn’t the case or he would look like a complete ass.

“Everything’s okay, I just thought I should buy something with my savings for once instead of asking them.”  Mark said as he adjusted his mirrors. 

“Ah, so you’re not talking to your parents.”  That checked out on all grounds- it also explained why he was still living in such a shoddy dorm.  One call to his parents and he could’ve had an apartment to himself off campus.

Mark sighed and Jinyoung knew then he was on the dot in his assumption.  “You know they’re a little pushy, they keep changing every conversation to talk about my future.”

“And you don’t want to talk about your future?  You’d rather drive this car than talk to them?”

“Yes,”  Mark huffed.  “I don’t want to discuss this anymore with  _ you _ either.” 

Mark was usually not this stubborn, was there another reason he was avoiding this conversation at all costs?  It didn’t make sense to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung decided to respect his wishes for now, since he didn’t feel like getting Mark in the wrong mood when they were about to go out.  He wasn’t Mark’s mother and he didn’t want to come off like that.

“Alright, maybe if you distract me with a kiss we can move on from this.”  Jinyoung tried being coy.

Mark turned back, staring at Jinyoung.  “I can’t reach you back there.”

“You’re not trying hard enough.”

“You’re right,”  Mark easily climbed over the center console and tumbled into the backseat.  “Much better.”

While Jinyoung sometimes worried he was pushing their relationship too quickly, there was something animalistic that took over when he was with Mark.  Since they’d spent all these years hanging out like a couple minus the physical aspect it was as if he was trying to make up for years of lost time all at once.

Perhaps he wouldn’t have pushed so hard if Mark didn’t meet him with the same fervor every single time.

Jinyoung had his back pressed up into the car door, his hands wrapped around Mark’s back, and his lips against Mark in a steamy kiss.

Jinyoung felt like a fool trying to keep up with Mark; everything he did made Jinyoung feel the weight of his inexperience.

The only relationship he had Jinyoung knew of was the short stint with Wendy in high school, and he had no idea how far they’d went together.  Knowing that Mark was actually not into girls at all, he could assume things didn’t get too far. Jinyoung wondered if Mark had hidden any other LA affairs from him- he spent enough time there to experiment at least.

Jinyoung’s only experience was the two kisses with Mark before, and even though his body moved on its own he didn’t have a clue was he was doing.  If there was a technique Jinyoung was missing Mark didn’t seem to care.

The parking garage was almost eerily quiet at the moment.  The slick sounds of Mark’s tongue sliding along Jinyoung’s filled the silence and turned him on even more.  Mark was pressing so hard against Jinyoung he was slowly sliding down the car door, his body falling further into the seat, his shirt riding up as it grazed the door handles and levers.  Jinyoung tried to absorb all the different sensations all at once, but he didn’t have a moment to catch his breath and his mind was turning to mush. Jinyoung didn’t dare breathe properly- he didn’t want to miss a moment of this kiss.  If he passed out it would be with no regrets.

Mark must’ve heard Jinyoung struggling, so he stopped the kiss himself and moved his lips down his chin leaving small kisses along the way.

Jinyoung was gasping, his brain turning back on in an instant and registering Mark’s mouth on his neck, kissing his sanity away.

Jinyoung’s goosebumps had goosebumps; the fine hairs on his arms were standing straight up.  He felt powerless; all he wanted to do was give in. His head tilted back, he sunk even lower down ignoring the way his back arched uncomfortably and his butt was sliding down the seat.

When Mark let his tongue lick over his skin and sucked down hard Jinyoung had to stifle a moan.  Just days before Jinyoung thought he wasn’t interested in romance and now he was experiencing things far beyond even what he fantasized. Sure- it maybe wasn’t in some sort of fantastical bed with gold lamp posts and velvet sheets on the eve of their wedding, but if a musty car with broken locks after a long day of classes was their reality, he wouldn’t mind it at all.

Mark was still concentrating on the same spot on his neck, Jinyoung knowing very well now that there would be a nasty bruise left the next morning.  That didn’t make him want to stop him though, in a weird way it was incredibly sexy- to feel like you belong to someone and be marked by them. To be reminded of them every time you looked in a mirror.  To feel their remnants on your skin.

Jinyoung was almost frightened by how far gone he was already.

Wasn’t there a quote you could apply to this?  If a fire burns too quickly it will go out just as quick?  He couldn’t remember anymore. He didn’t want to remember.

Jinyoung’s short gasps of breath turned into a quiet yelp when he slipped down more and got his hair stuck in a crevice on the car door.  Ugh. His body was too awkwardly placed to adjust himself properly, but he didn’t want to push Mark away either. He slowly removed his left arm from Mark’s back and tried to reach backward- but in his attempt, he nudged the door handle causing the door he was leaning on to swing open.

They both toppled right out, Jinyoung’s body hanging off the side, Mark falling so that he was practically on top of him.  Jinyoung hung there for a beat, his heart pounding so hard it rung heavy through his head. “What…?” Jinyoung said dazedly. He was sure he lost a chunk of hair.

“Jinyoungie, I told you the door doesn’t work...”    


Jinyoung’s brain snapped back to reality faster than a rocket leaving the atmosphere when he heard people mulling around in the parking garage, forcefully pushing Mark off his him and he got back into the car and slammed the door shut.

Mark was now lying with his legs up on the opposite seat and his upper body down on the floor beneath him.    


“Ow, what was that for?”

“I…”  Jinyoung was shaking suddenly, his hands trembled in front of his face.  “I heard someone out there.” Why was he so scared?

“Jinyoung,”  Mark got back on to the seat when he noticed Jinyoung’s condition.  “Breathe, are you okay?”

“I didn’t want anyone to see us.”  Jinyoung leaned forward and let Mark envelop him in his arms.  He was immediately calmed. “I’m sorry, I panicked.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it.”  Mark comforted him. 

He didn’t really know what came over him, but he was prone to overreacting.  Mark is used to it. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, we need to get going anyway.”  Mark affirmed.

“Where are we going?”  Jinyoung had almost forgotten they were going out.

“Wanna go to the movies?  The new Aladdin movie came out.”  Jinyoung’s ears perked up to anything Disney.

Mark wasn’t a man of many words but he always knew the right things to say.  “Sounds good.”

Jinyoung sighed when Mark climbed back over the console and into the driver’s seat, almost out of arm’s reach.

Jinyoung’s chest felt heavy and his neck felt sore, but he had to remind himself that everything was alright.  Nothing happened. Everything was alright.

Nothing happened.

Everyone was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments and kudos, I hope you have/had a fantastic day!


	4. Chapter 4

Jinyoung had to dig out a winter sweater from the back of his drawer to find a turtleneck high enough to cover the blackish-blue bruise that was taking over his neck.

Part of him didn’t care if people at school saw, but he realized they would start wondering who he was dating if he let the world see- either that or they would think he slept around.  Neither of which did he want to explain.  There was absolutely no way he could let Kwon see either, not because he would be angry, but because he would tease him endlessly.

He already felt the repercussions of his actions when he slid the wool sweater on, wondering if wearing a scarf over a t-shirt would look less questionable.  Probably not.  He would have to tell Mark not to go so hard on his neck next time and leave the marks for places that are easily covered with summer attire.

Jinyoung blushed at the thought of Mark kissing him in places like those.  He wanted a universe full of kisses even though this relationship was moving faster than he anticipated.  He already felt like the way they lewdly kissed in the car yesterday was far beyond acceptable for a new relationship, but he didn’t regret it.  Every stitch of Jinyoung’s modesty was slowly but surely being undone by Mark and if that was what Mark wanted, Jinyoung would happily oblige.

Even if it meant he’d have to invest in more turtlenecks and scarves.

Jinyoung was deciding which pair of jeans to wear when he heard his phone ringing, and it wasn’t the cheery tune he usually heard when Mark called.

He peered over to see his aunt's name pop up and immediately ignored it.  He didn’t want to talk to her now, not ever.  There was nothing she could want from him that was of any importance.  She was probably calling to tell him for the hundredth time that moving in with Kwon was a mistake and that he’s opening his life up to bad influences.  He would’ve thought by now she’d get the message.

The second time his phone rang he rejected the call and put it on silent.  

He didn’t need to waste any more time even thinking about her.

When Jinyoung got downstairs Kwon was sleeping on the counter, sitting down with a bowl of cereal next to him and his wig half off.  He must’ve tried to have a snack when he got home in the early hours, but he was too tired to eat.

“Kwon,”  Jinyoung pushed aside his fake blond curls to reveal his face full of caked-on makeup.  “You need to sleep on your bed, not on the counter.”

He groaned and turned his head away.

“Kwon, wake up.”  He shook him again.

This time he didn’t even move.

“If you don’t get up I’m cutting the ends off your wig.”

“No!  Not that one!”  He finally sprung up, snatching Jinyoung’s hand.  “Huh?  Where am I?”

“Kitchen counter.”  

“Oh, shit,” Kwon hopped down from the stool, losing his balance in the heels he neglected to take off too.  “Sorry, it was Madonna night.  Must’ve partied too hard.”

Jinyoung was aware it was Madonna night, considering he had to hear _Like A Virgin_ countless times before he was able to fall asleep the night prior.  He felt like it was mocking him every single time.

Kwon yawned and put a hand on Jinyoung’s face, trailing it up to his ears.  “You know, it’s trendy for anyone to get their ears pierced these days Jinyoung.  You’d look nice in them,”  Jinyoung knew he was still woozy from the night before, especially when he started rambling like this.  “Maybe some eyeliner too.”

Jinyoung gently took Kwon’s hand and moved it away from his face.  “It’s not my style.”

“A shame,”  Kwon said.  “You don’t need much makeup though, you’re handsome enough as is.  Ah, I’m jealous...”  He started murmuring to himself, the stench of alcohol heavy on his breath.

 “You need to sleep.”  Jinyoung insisted.

Kwon finally decided to listen.  He pushed his bowl of dry cereal towards Jinyoung.  “Eat this.” He said before he bent down and pulled his heels off, tossing them across the room towards the doorway, before walking upstairs to his bed. 

Jinyoung wanted to laugh.  He knew Kwon wasn’t a parent figure to him but some days he felt like he had to take care of Kwon more than he took care of him.  It was such a far cry from his aunt’s house, but there was something so liberating about it.  He never realized how much of his independence he was missing out on.

He grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured it into the bowl, deciding that at least this took out the daily headache of choosing which of their fifty boxes of cereal he was going to eat.

Jinyoung felt his earlobe, wondering if he really should get piercings.  He knew Mark had at least five piercings and they were hot on Mark, of course, but on him?  It seemed uncharacteristic and weird.  Mark would wear gold bracelets paired with gold necklaces but Jinyoung hardly accessorized with more than a scarf.

Mark liked to joke about how the only accessory he needed was his face.

He wondered though, maybe Mark would like it if he wore something?  He didn’t have to go as far as a piercing, but maybe a necklace would be a nice surprise…

Was he overthinking on a Friday morning?  Probably, but he wouldn’t be Jinyoung if he didn’t overthink.

His cereal was getting soggy, but he still managed to get it down before running off to the university.

* * *

 

When Jinyoung strolled into his liberal class he was expecting Mark there waiting for him- but he didn’t expect to see Jaebum.

Every time Jinyoung had met Jaebum he’d been cranky and hiding under his blanket, but today he was sitting in front of Mark his mouth so wide while laughing you could see all his teeth.

“Hey.”  Jinyoung took his usual seat next to Mark, trying not to interrupt the hilarious conversation in progress.

“Oh!  Hi Jinyoungie!”  It was obvious Mark was holding himself back from pulling Jinyoung in for a hug, so instead, Mark smiled at him so warmly Jinyoung almost choked on his breath.  How did Mark look like a cute emoji face personified?

“Hey, Jinyoung.”  Jaebum greeted him as well.

“Are you in this class now?”  Jinyoung wouldn’t have minded if he switched in, but he did feel like this was a moment together for him and Mark that Jaebum would be taking away.

“I was skipping one of my lectures and got bored, so I’m sitting in.  I was thinking of switching into this class, but I need to decide by today.”

“Is your current class that bad?”  Jinyoung asked.

“No, it’s about the geography of food, and it’s pretty interesting.”

“Huh?  Then why are you skipping?”

“Annoying classmates.”  Jaebum’s wide smile from earlier disappeared completely.

“Jackson’s in that class too.”  Mark filled in.  

“Unbearably annoying.”  Jaebum looked like meeting with Jackson was the most unpleasant thing in the world.

Jinyoung couldn’t for the life of him understand why Jaebum hated Jackson so much.  Sure, he also hated his guts at first, but when you realize he’s not purposely trying to steal your man he’s a nice guy.  Mark seemed to like him a lot as well, and Jinyoung respected Mark’s opinion above all else.

“Can’t you avoid him?”  Jinyoung suggested.

“No use, he always finds his way next to me.”  

“He wants to be your friend.”  Mark leaned his face in his hand, his lips in an almost pout.  Adorable, as always.

“I don’t want to be his friend.”

“Why?”  Jinyoung had met stubborn people in his life but Jaebum was on another level.  How was he planning to avoid someone he _lived_ with?

“He’s way too… forward?  He knows I’m not interested in anything, right?”  Jaebum looked at Mark as if he knew the answer to that.

“He’s just being nice.  He acts the same way towards me.”  Mark looked at Jinyoung to make sure he wasn't saying anything wrong.  Jinyoung didn’t think he was.

“Nice?  Even after the shower incident?”  Jinyoung had forgotten about that.  “I hate how people like that feel the need to rub it in your face all the time? You know?”  

Jinyoung felt his eye twitch.  

Neither Mark or Jinyoung replied, so Jaebum continued.

“I mean, not _you_ Mark.  You’re super normal and pretty cool.”  

Jinyoung could feel Mark tensing up beside him, breathing in deeply, then letting it go.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on Jackson,”  Mark said, his cheery tone from earlier intact.  “He’s not purposefully trying to annoy you.  If you like your liberal you shouldn’t switch out because of one person.”  

Jinyoung tried to stay calm but those words felt sticky and gross, lingering in the back of his brain.  _People like that.  Super normal._ It’s so bizarre to look from the inside out and realize even if people accepted you, that doesn’t mean their preconceived notions would just float away. 

“I know it seems like a stupid reason, but I don’t know.  No matter what I do, I can't seem to avoid him.  I feel like I’ll pop a vein if I have to deal with him for even one more minute.”

“If you drop that class, you’ll only prove that he’s getting to you.”  Jinyoung spoke up since Mark didn’t have a reply.

“You’re right... I’m giving up, aren't I?”  Jaebum reconciled.  “I’m letting him get in the way of my education!”

“Uh, yeah.”  Jinyoung still felt weird about this whole conversation, but since Mark didn’t say anything, he didn’t want to speak up out of turn.

The professor finally walked in, calling on the students to quiet down and get ready for the lecture.

“I’m going back to my class, thanks for the advice, I’m not dropping anything.”  Jaebum said as he quickly picked up his stuff and bolted out of the room to make it back to his lecture.

As soon as Jaebum left and the professor started talking Mark leaned over and whispered into Jinyoung’s ear.  “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”  Jinyoung whispered back.

“Jaebum is a cool guy, even if he says stupid things sometimes.  Don’t get too worked up about it.”  Mark was gnawing on his lip nervously.

He hated that they both felt so insecure.  

“It’s not a big deal.”  Jinyoung lied, that weird gross feeling still lingering in the back of his mind.

The professor shot a frustrated look at them for talking and they both quietly went back to their notes.

* * *

 

Mark had wanted to hang out that night but Jinyoung declined, saying he wasn’t feeling well.  Jinyoung had felt horrible when he saw Mark’s reaction, but his mind wasn’t in the right place to give him his full undivided attention.

He was lying in bed on a Friday night, so the vibrations below were even worse than they were most nights.  It was _Girl’s Generation_ night, so it was a constant mantra of _gee gee gee gee_ for the past three hours.  

Jinyoung didn’t mind it as much as most, pure silence was even worse.  Being trapped alone with your thoughts was terrifying- especially for Jinyoung.  The musical interlude wasn’t too bad, plus there was nothing like bubblegum pop to help drown all your insecurities.

He must’ve looked uneasy during the lecture for Mark to ask him if he was alright so suddenly.  Mark often asked things flat-out, but in this case, he looked so worried, like their relationship was hanging on by a thin thread and one small tug would make it snap.

Jinyoung knew that wasn’t the case in his heart, but his mind was maneuvering this relationship like he was treading through deep water, hard to breathe, kind of fuzzy, but still chugging along into the unknown and hoping for the best.

If Jinyoung kept messing up he stood to lose not only his boyfriend, but the long-standing friendship that developed before… the thought of losing Mark forever scared him the most.

He cursed his mind for even thinking of hurting Mark.  He’d been through worse than this, he could handle anything.

Someone downstairs finally wasn’t performing _Gee_ and the room erupted in cheers, as he heard the intro to _The Boys_ instead.

Being in a relationship with Mark was the best thing he’d ever experienced, so why was he having all this self-doubt?  Every time they kissed he was over the moon but then later the same day he felt disgusted with himself.  The conflicting feelings were slowly leaving him battered emotionally. 

Maybe that’s why the moment he saw Mark he always craved something physical; it’s only when they’re intimate that Jinyoung can completely forget about his worries.

Jinyoung buried his face in his pillow trying to smush all his worries away.  Wasn’t a very efficient method, as Jinyoung expected, but it was the only thing he cared to do at the moment.

_Girls bring the boys out._

_Girls bring the boys out._

_Girls bring the boys out._

_Girls bring the boys out._

This song was giving Jinyoung a massive headache.  In the spur of the moment, Jinyoung jumped out of bed, pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt, and headed downstairs.

He didn’t know why he thought it was a good idea to walk around the city when it was almost midnight, but at least the crisp air and the car sounds felt much nicer than his stuffy bedroom and the girls bringing the boys out.

The road toward his university leads to a calmer path but the other way was a whole different story.  His uncle’s club started a path into the area of town littered with seedy clubs and worn-down restaurants that were open all night.  There were bright lights and still a ton of people who were out, so Jinyoung didn’t feel too scared when he walked down that road.

Nobody knew who he was, what kind of people he liked, or what kind of relationships he was in and Jinyoung loved that.  He didn’t act different, look different, or feel different since he started dating Mark.  If he was normal before, then why was he abnormal now?  Walking down the street, he felt like the most normal person in the world, and everybody who saw him would probably think the same.  _What does it even mean to be norma_ l?  Jinyoung didn’t know the answer to that.

He contemplated a midnight snack but decided against it because he knows his stomach hates him when he eats a ton of food in the middle of the night.  He didn’t have a destination; the fresh air was all he needed.

Two visibly drunk girls were walking in front of him, then turned straight to head in his direction.  They had their eyes locked on him and Jinyoung couldn’t turn back without it seeming like he was avoiding them.

“Hey!”  One of them yelled.  “My friend thinks you’re cute!”

“Eunhwa!”  The other girl slapped her arm, looking upset.  “Can you shut up?”

“It’s now or never Yeeun, don’t let the opportunity pass you by!”  She slurred.

The girl who he assumed was Eunhwa shoved her friend towards Jinyoung, he had to catch her in his arms so she wouldn’t fall over.

“Ahh, I’m so sorry,”  Her hands lingered on his arms.  “Wow, you’re even more handsome up close.”  She was slurring too, immediately snapping a hand over her mouth.  “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes!  Yeeun, ask him out, ask him out!”  Eunhwa shouted.

“Sorry,”  Jinyoung started.  “Do you want me to call you a cab?  You should go home.”  He got flustered, the two girls were obviously out of it and he didn’t want to leave them alone.

“Was that rejection?  Is this what rejection feels like?”  Yeeun slurred, throwing herself deeper into Jinyoung’s arms.  “You don’t want to date me?”

“Hey, is this guy a weirdo?  Who turns down a pretty girl running into his arms in the middle of the night?”  Eunhwa said.

Jinyoung hadn’t noticed her looks, was she pretty?  He didn’t know.  All he could think about was how dangerous it was for two girls walking around this intoxicated late at night.  “I’m calling a cab.”

“Such a gentleman, will you come with us?”  Eunhwa walked over to pick Yeeun out of his arms.  “I really can’t let someone with such a handsome face walk away.”  She had a hand on his shoulder now, rubbing small circles over his shirt.

“I’m not interested, please let go of me.”  He said, taking his cell phone out of his pocket.  “I’m calling now.”

The girls were tame as he called, describing his location.  Eunhwa was still holding his shoulder.

When he got off the phone Eunhwa spoke again.

“You need to come with us, Yeeun will cry if you don’t come.”  Her face was getting closer to his and he was suffocating in the alcohol smell.

“I won’t cry!”  Yeeun spat.  

“I have a-”  Jinyoung held back his words before he said something he would regret.  “I’m in a relationship.”

“Ah, your girlfriend won’t mind, just this once.”  Eunhwa pleaded.

“Wait, we can’t,”  Yeeun said.  “We can’t do this.”

“This was your idea!  I thought there would be no way he’d turn down someone as pretty as you.  What’s wrong with you?”

“He’s being a good boyfriend?”  Yeeun slurred.  “Let’s just goooo.”  She tugged Eunhwa by the arm, both stumbling again.

That was a lie, Jinyoung wasn’t a good boyfriend at all.  A good boyfriend would never doubt their relationship.  A good boyfriend would never make Mark worry all the time.  A good boyfriend wouldn’t be ashamed to show the world who he loves.

The cab pulled up and relief flooded through Jinyoung.

Yeeun pulled them both into the car- Eunhwa blew him a kiss from the window and told him she hoped to see him around.  Jinyoung fought the urge to kick the heart right back in her face.

Suddenly this entire walk seemed like a bad idea, he felt just as sick as he did when he left the apartment.

He pulled out his phone and texted Mark, unsure if he would even be up.  If he was, he would probably be lost deep inside some computer game and not even check his phone.

_Let’s hang out on the weekend, please.  Maybe tomorrow?_

He still felt off, but the only thing he wanted was to feel the comfort of Mark’s arms as soon as possible.  He wanted to convince him he was worthy of being his boyfriend.  He needed to show Mark how much he meant to him before he swallowed himself up in doubt.

Jinyoung started walking down the street again, carefully scanning the stores until he found what he was looking for.

The neon sign above him read _Phoenix Tattoos & Piercings._

He had trouble remembering some other quote, perhaps he had read it in a book?  Something like, you do crazy things when you’re in love?  Jinyoung was certain he was in love then, because he walked into the shop brimming with confidence, hoping that Mark would appreciate what he was about to do.

* * *

 

Jinyoung had been hesitant about coming over to Mark’s dorm on a Saturday, but it turned out that Jaebum had completely skipped town for the weekend to hang out with his crew and Jackson was off at fencing practice that usually lasted until the wee hours of the night, so he didn’t have much to worry about.

It was pouring rain, and they both didn’t want to get sick again, (although kissing in the rain was kind of hot) so Mark suggested they stay in and watch a movie.

Jinyoung almost leaped into Mark’s arms when he opened the door, looking so fluffy in his oversized hoodie and basketball shorts.

“Miss me that much?”

“Yeah,”  Jinyoung said shamelessly.  “Sorry I couldn’t hang out yesterday.”  This type of clinginess couldn’t be healthy.

“It’s okay, as long as you’re feeling better.”  Jinyoung couldn’t believe it, Mark was an actual angel?

As soon as the door closed behind him, he pressed two soft kisses on each side of Mark’s cheek, then once more on his lips.  

Mark was giggling at Jinyoung’s over-affection since it was so unexpected.  “If you keep kissing me like this, we won’t have time for the movie.”

“We have all afternoon, right?  We have plenty of time for a movie and other things.”  Jinyoung couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.  It’s like the moment he was with Mark the lovesickness kicked in and he couldn’t help but be needy.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,”  Mark held him by the shoulders when Jinyoung tried to swoop in for another kiss.  

“Whoa, whoa whoa, what?”  Mark was staring at him wide-eyed.  Since when did he turn down kisses?

“What are those?”  Mark said, his hand grazing Jinyoung’s earlobe.

“Oh, those aren’t much,”  Jinyoung said cheekily.  “Just some earrings.”

“You got your ears pierced for real?” Mark looked shocked. “These aren’t clip-ons?”  Mark felt Jinyoung’s lobe, staring in awe at the tiny hole.

“Ow!”  Jinyoung flinched.  “They’re still sore…”

Jinyoung didn’t know what he was doing as soon as he stepped into the piercing parlor, but there was no turning back.  The guy there basically intimidated him into getting something done- which turned into finally getting his ears pierced.  It didn’t even hurt that much, it was just… weird.

“What do you think?”  Jinyoung asked nervously.  

“It’s…”  Mark was still staring at him like he had shown up with a full-face tattoo or something.  “...hot.  Really hot.”

That answer alone made Jinyoung’s ears feel less sore.

“Good.”  Jinyoung said as he pulled Mark in for a deeper kiss.

“Stop!”  Mark said, after receiving the said kiss.  “Movie, now, or else we won’t get to watch it.”

“Fine,”  Jinyoung huffed, there was still plenty of time left so he didn’t know why Mark was so insistent on the movie first.  “But I get to choose.”

Mark seemed relieved.  “Of course, but nothing boring.”

“Are you saying I have a boring taste in movies?”

“I mean, sometimes you do, like those weird nature documentaries…”

“You don’t like nature documentaries?!”

“I mean… no.” 

“Okay, I’ll trust opinions from the guy who re-watches Toy Story weekly and cries every single time.”

“Listen… I thought we agreed we’re not supposed to diss Toy Story, you know it’s a sensitive topic.”  Mark pouted.

“Fine, but we’re watching something new today, and I’ll try not to pick anything that’ll leave you a sobbing mess at the end, action maybe?”

“Yes!”  Mark agreed.  

Mark’s bed was comfy and soft for such a tiny cheap dorm room, Jinyoung stretched himself over it while Mark was fiddling with Netflix on his laptop.

Jinyoung suddenly stopped and sat back up straight.  He did this all the time when he and Mark were best friends, but now that they were boyfriends wasn’t making himself so at home on his bed kind of weird now, since they had only started dating?

Jinyoung tried to swat away all the anxious thoughts in his mind by focusing on Mark’s cute thinking face- his eyebrows furrowed as he clicked away on his keyboard.

“Okay, pick a movie,”  Mark said as he handed Jinyoung his laptop.  “I already sorted it to action so you wouldn’t get distracted.”

“I don’t know, I was suddenly in the mood for _The Notebook_ …”  Jinyoung teased.

“No!”  Mark pulled the laptop back towards him.  “I’m taking your movie privileges away!”

“I was kidding, give it back!”

“Hmph,”  Mark reluctantly gave Jinyoung the laptop.  “We both have to agree on it.”

“Of course, got it.”  Jinyoung still couldn’t believe such a ridiculously cliché story like _The Notebook_ turned Mark into a ball of tears, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

Eventually, Jinyoung picked some movie that promised a lot of guns and muscles which Mark seemed pleased with as well.  

Mark handed the laptop to Jinyoung, “Wait,”  Mark said as he scooched to one end of the bed and his back was against the headboard. “Come here.”

Mark was gesturing between his legs and Jinyoung felt a sudden rush of blood to his face.  “Um, there?”

“Yeah, put your back against my chest and then put the computer on your lap so we can both get a good view.”  Mark explained.

Jinyoung understood, but that didn’t make him any less embarrassed.  He carefully crept up between Mark’s legs and sat between them.  He worried he might be too tall and block Mark’s view, but Mark’s face was able to nestle comfortably on his shoulder.  “Are you good?”

“Yup,”  Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s waist.  “I’m ready, hit play.”

Jinyoung knew he was going to spend most of this movie suffering over how close they were sitting.  Mark’s arms around him pulling him so snug against his chest paired with the ass-to-crotch ratio at a solid negative one left Jinyoung heaving.

Kissing was one thing, and he was super comfortable with it at this point.  However, anything beyond that sent his brain into massive overdrive, he could’ve sworn he heard _Like A Virgin_ playing in his head again to taunt him.

It’s not like he didn’t want to take it further- in fact, he wanted it a little too much, but then he would feel like he was rushing into something he had no idea about.  

Jinyoung took a deep breath and tried to focus on the explosions on-screen, but his mind was running amok with possibilities far greater than any simulated explosion.

Mark’s little “wahhs” and “oohs” from time to time started off sounding super cute to mildly suggestive.  There was a scene where a guy’s leg got blown off where Mark had an excited reaction with his voice, but his arms clutched onto Jinyoung tighter, pressing him right into his crotch- like _right into it-_ he could feel the outline of something he really shouldn’t be.

“Mark,”  Jinyoung gasped.  “You’re squeezing too tightly.”  Much too tight.

“Oh,”  Mark eased his grip.  “Sorry.”

Jinyoung felt like his lungs were getting smaller as all the blood from his face started draining down into his lower half. _Shit._

He was lucky he was sitting with his back to Mark, so he could work on dealing with the situation before the movie ended. _Think unsexy thoughts._

You would think staring into people getting their limbs blown off would do the trick, but apparently, Jinyoung was secretly a sick freak and could get horny through just about anything.

Mark was squirming behind him now _please stop squirming for the love of God._

Jinyoung could tell the movie was coming to an end and he had yet to fully deal with his situation, and he knew as soon as the movie ended Mark would want to get up and-

“Jinyoungie?”

“W-what?

“The movie is over, why are you still staring at the screen?”

Jinyoung focused, and sure enough, the credits were scrolling across the screen and he was getting recommended tons of other violent movies. 

“Right,”  Jinyoung closed Mark’s laptop and threw it on the bed beside him before scooching out of Mark’s legs and off the bed.  “I need to use the washroom.”

“It’s down the hall, remember?”

Damn it all, he was right.  He didn’t want to go out into the hallway like this either.

“Too far,”  Jinyoung murmured.  “I can hold it.”

“You seem tense, was the movie too violent for you?  Are you nauseous?”  Mark asked with genuine concern.

Jinyoung couldn’t even remember what the movie was about.  “No, nothing like that.”

“C’mere,”  Mark tugged Jinyoung’s arms and before he knew it, he was tumbling back on the bed, facing Mark with his knees clenched together.  “Are you still upset about yesterday?  I know you weren’t that into the movie.”

Honestly, at that moment Jinyoung had forgotten about a lot of things, yesterday being one of them.  “I wasn’t even upset, don’t worry.”

“Alright, but tell me what’s on your mind sometimes, you weren’t supposed to get more secretive when we started dating, you’re supposed to be more open.”

Mark looked so alluring, so caring and so beautiful.  Jinyoung’s brain was short-circuiting and his heart was doing cartwheels, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Kiss me,”  Jinyoung said, his knees weak and his willpower fading.  “Please kiss me.”

As soon as Mark’s lips were on him, he felt all his worries get washed away.

Mark was always quick when it came to kisses, and it only made Jinyoung more self-confident when he realized how badly Mark wanted him as well.  That self-confidence leads to daring quick decisions that he would probably regret but rolling downwards so that Mark was practically on top of him while making out was a pretty good decision so far.

Being alone in the comfort of Mark’s bed gave Jinyoung too much power, killing any sort of unspoken boundary imposed upon them before.

Mark moved over, trying to find a comfy position on top of Jinyoung without crushing the wrong places, so he ended up with his legs on either side of Jinyoung’s waist- lining up their bodies.

Jinyoung knew Mark knew about his situation by this point- there was no way he couldn’t know pressed against him so tightly.  Instead of saying anything Mark continued to kiss him with the gradual grind of his hips, and that’s what threw Jinyoung off the edge of sanity and into a realm of immoral decisions.

Mark knew exactly what he was doing, it was only confirmed by the small smirk on his face when he paused the kiss to see Jinyoung’s reaction, before stunning him another roll of his hips, this time faster in pace and even more mind-blowing.

He could feel Mark pressing against him as well, grinding back and forth while he kissed down Jinyoung’s neck.

Jinyoung wasn’t sure what Mark was trying to accomplish tonight, but whatever it was he would have to do it soon because Jinyoung wasn’t used to this amount of stimulation.  He wasn’t used to any stimulation at all.

Mark’s loose basketball shorts left little to the imagination.  Only a few very thin layers of fabric were separating them now, another roll and Jinyoung slipped out a moan through his kiss.

“Jinyoung,”  Mark whispered into his neck.  “You’re drooling.”

Jinyoung thought Mark was saying something sexy, but when he realized he was. in fact. drooling he quickly brought his hand up and wiped his mouth as Mark laughed.  “It’s not funny.”

Mark was lucky he was cute.  All was forgiven with another grind of Mark’s hips, pressing their clothed crotches together even further.

Mark had complete control of the situation and Jinyoung let him since he could barely come up with a coherent thought at the moment other than how embarrassingly close to the edge he was despite the fact they’d only been kissing and grinding for a maximum of two minutes.

“Mark,”  Jinyoung tried to say his normally but it came out in such a breathy moan he had to slap a hand across his face in shock.  Mark was soaking it up though, the smirk morphing into a full-on shit-eating grin.  “I said stop laughing!”

“I’m only laughing because you’re cute.”  Wrong- Jinyoung thought.  Mark was the only cute one here.  

Mark started kissing him again before he could reply.

The grind of Mark’s hips was too much and Jinyoung was spiraling out of control faster than anticipated, but he didn’t know how to tell him to stop.  

His moans were getting swallowed up by Mark, who was now kissing him so hard he almost thought he was ready to bite down on his flesh at any given moment.

“Mghmhmmgh!”  Jinyoung tried to make sounds but it was too late, with one last swift and hard roll of Mark’s hips he felt himself coming undone- it wasn’t in his control to hold back any longer.

The pained sounds he was making were from a mix of feeling like he’d just won the lottery when he shuddered and came underneath Mark, then having all your winnings be taken away by the government when he felt an uncomfortable wetness seeping through the front of his pants.

Mark was still kissing him not realizing what had happened obviously- which made him even more embarrassed.

Just when he thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, he heard the doorknob turning.

He pushed Mark off him faster than Jackson could open the door, but that wasn’t enough to save him for the mortifying situation he found himself in.

“Jinyoung!  You didn’t tell me you were coming over,”  Jackson stepped over a shocked Mark lying on the floor like it was the most normal thing in the world.  “Where’s my hug?”

“No!”  Jinyoung leaped up from the bed, scrambling for his scarf that had fallen off at some point.  “I mean- I was just leaving.”

Jinyoung stood up, the wetness even more prominent when he stood up, gravity working in unforgivable ways.

“What, do you hate me?  Why are you-”  Jackson stopped mid-sentence when his eyes trailed down the to damp spot on his pants and Jinyoung knew it was over.  This was it, he could never talk to Mark or Jackson ever again.  This was too much.  “Did you p-”

“I spilled water!”  Jinyoung yelled, smoothing his clothes down then practically running to the door.  “I’m leaving, yeah, goodbye!”

Jinyoung slammed the door shut before Jackson could say anything else, running down the stairs and realizing he still had to walk home like this.

Overall, weekend date:  Pretty good for a while, it’s just too bad it ended so badly Jinyoung now had to change his name and skip the country so that Mark would never be able to laugh about this-

Too late.

He heard Mark texting him already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thnks for comments and kudos homies


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i'm still alive

Jinyoung didn’t dare check his phone until he got home and showered for almost half an hour, trying to wash every last bit of humiliation off his body.

He was lucky his uncle wasn’t home, but he felt with a situation this bad it would’ve been fitting for it to only get worse.

Jinyoung clicked on his phone to see only one text notification from Mark.  He’s scared to open it but he knew it would only make him anxious if he went to bed without looking.

_Mark: wow jinyoungie... you didn't need to DAMPen the mood. :(_

Jinyoung read the text message three times before it sunk in that Mark had replied to all his pain and suffering with one of his awful goddamn puns.

_Jinyoung:  im blocking you bye_

_Mark: nooo im sorry don’t block me aha youre so sexy_

Jinyoung did feel like blocking him, but he knew he didn’t have the heart to do that.

_Jinyoung:  how sorry are you?_

Jinyoung saw Mark typing for a while after then stopped.  Jinyoung knew none of Mark’s messages were over ten words, so he could only wonder what he was up to.

The answer came five minutes later in the form of a selfie, Mark’s perfectly pink pouted lips being the main attraction.

Jinyoung swooned for a minute because there wasn’t anyone in the world who could resist that artfully perfect pout of his, but as soon as his eyes drifted down to the lower parts of the picture where the darkness was only half-covering his shirtless chest Jinyoung felt himself get hot again.

_Mark:  do you forgive me now? please? <3_

If Mark was in the mood for selfies there was no harm in asking for another one, right?

_Jinyoung:  take another selfie… but lower_

Jinyoung didn’t realize how thirsty he sounded until he already hit send.  Oh well.  

He waited patiently for a reply, probably Mark teasing him and telling him he doesn’t deserve that much yet.

Instead, he got a _youre lucky jackson is napping_ followed by another selfie, this time panned down so that his face is cropped off at the top- the main focus being his chest.

Mark was still slender, but the ab definition he gained was even more stunning when he wasn’t trying to squint from atop the gallery of a pool.  The way his sides curved inwards then back out where his sweatpants sat well below his v-line… truly a masterpiece, Jinyoung thought.

He hadn’t even recovered from the first photo before Mark sent another, the same-ish angle with his head ducked down lower so he could give the camera a cute smile and a peace sign.

In this one, you could see the delicious flex of his bicep and the tufts of hair under his arm- _was Jinyoung attracted to Mark’s armpit hair now?  Is this really how far gone he was?_

_Mark:  thats all ur getting… better be enough._

Jinyoung knew that was much more than enough, he replied with a ‘yeah’ as he saved both the photos and lamented over the fact he couldn’t use them as his wallpaper without completely exposing himself to the world as the owner of the hottest boyfriend in the land.

_Mark: ur turn now! :)_

Jinyoung laughed at that message, he was nothing compared to Mark.  His body was embarrassingly slim considering he never bothered to take care of his health and exercise.

_Jinyoung: not a chance_

_Mark: fine ... not a big deal. i know ill be able to get that shirt off myself soon enough. ;)_

Jinyoung needed to end this before he got too carried away.  He was home alone but Mark was not- the thought of him continuing this while Jackson was there instead of him made him grossly jealous.

_Jinyoung: i need to sleep. now_

He could almost hear Mark laughing on the other side, probably laughing at the desperation of that last text.

_Mark: alright, sweet dreams then jinyoungie :)_

Jinyoung finally put his phone down after saying his final goodbye, his embarrassment finally almost completely replaced with the images of Mark’s chest flashing through his mind over and over.

The thrum of music started reverberating through his floorboards and that’s when he realized how late it was.  Kwon wouldn’t be home for the rest of the night.

Jinyoung snuck one hand into the waistband of his pajama pants, and with the other he picked up his phone and opened the shirtless picture of Mark, turning the brightness on full blast so he could appreciate every single dip and curve on Mark’s body.

Mark was right, only sweet dreams tonight.

* * *

“Someone’s in a good mood,”  Kwon commented as Jinyoung headed downstairs with a hop skip and a jump.  “What happened?”

“Nothing.”  He said, and he scanned the cereal boxes lined up across the shelf.  

Kwon was fortunately not wasted this morning; he had even already removed all his makeup and got into his pajamas.  There were hardly days like this, but it was better than having to drag him up the stairs into bed half asleep.

“Hmm, alright,”  Kwon grabbed the milk for Jinyoung, setting it down beside his bowl of freshly poured cereal, before grabbing the seat right across from him.  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Jinyoung knew the sudden put-togetherness was strange.  “About?”

“Your aunt called me-”  Jinyoung’s shoulders dropped immediately.

“I didn’t give her your number.”  Jinyoung knew Kwon wasn’t a fan of his father’s family, and they hated him as well.

“It’s fine, that’s not the point, she called because she couldn’t get hold of you.”

“I’m sorry; I very clearly told her that I don’t want to speak with her anymore.”

“Again, It’s not a big deal,”  Kwon set his face in his hands, looking dejected.

Jinyoung took a deep breath.  “What did she want?”

“She said they’re going down to visit your father next weekend, and they were wondering if you wanted to come this time.”

Jinyoung felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.  “I’m busy.”  He said quickly.  Why would they ask him that?  “Tell them I’m busy.”

“You know I don’t like lying on your behalf.”

“I’ll call her then.”  Jinyoung almost choked on the breath caught in his throat.  “I’ll tell her I’m not going, you don’t need to… you don’t… I’m so sorry.”  Jinyoung didn’t know what to say.

“It won’t bother me if you go, Jinyoung.”

“I don’t want to go!”  He didn’t mean to yell, but all the emotions bubbling around in his chest were overflowing and spilling out of his mouth.

After that outburst, they were both silent for a moment.  “If that’s what you want.”

“I’ll call her now,”  Jinyoung said.  “Don’t worry about it, alright?”

“If you say so,”  Kwon seemed to have checked out of the conversation, his mind elsewhere.  “I’m going to sleep then.”

“Alright, good night.”  Jinyoung said, shooing him out of the room before putting his head flat on the cold kitchen counter.  It felt nice against his hot face.

Jinyoung picked himself back up and stared at his phone, wishing his aunt would learn how to use text messaging instead of him having to go through this every single time.  His class started in only twenty minutes, but he knew he had to get this over with.

Luckily, phone calls only needed to last as long as he wanted them to.

He called the number and waited until his aunt’s snappy voice echoed through the receiver.

“Hello?”

“It’s Jinyoung.”  She wasn’t worth the ‘hello’ back.

“Oh, you’re alive?”  Just the tone made him want to throw up.

“I wanted to tell you I’m busy this weekend, I can’t go anywhere.”

“Ah, and I assume that you're busy the weekend after that as well?  Perhaps you’re busy for the rest of the month?”

“Yeah, I probably am.”  Jinyoung retorted, not even caring anymore.  “I have to go, I have class soon.”

He could hear her sharp sigh from the other end.  “You know, your father would be happy to see you.”

“I won’t be happy to see him.”

“Jinyoung, I know we can’t change the past-”

“Bye.”  Jinyoung said, ending the call before she could even finish the sentence.  He immediately heard her calling back, but he ignored it.

Still shaken, he got up and walked into the living room, stopping in front of the shelf nestled away into the corner.

They only had one picture of his mom in the entire apartment; Kwon insisted they have it up.  Jinyoung wasn’t quite ready to walk past it every day but Kwon was right, he had to get used to it.

“You wouldn’t be disappointed in me, right?”  Jinyoung whispered, quiet enough even ghosts could hear him.  “You would still support me, no matter what.”  

Jinyoung didn’t have a clue what his life would've been like if she was still here, but he didn’t regret the things that he had gone through because of her passing.  He’d always try to justify it like that.  

“Would you want me to go visit him?”  He asked, staring directly into the picture frame.  His mom has been a big believer in forgiveness and understanding.  He hated it because she let people walk all over her.  As a child, he kept seeing it happen but he couldn’t do anything about it.  

He bowed his head back down, suddenly feeling weird staring at her smiling face knowing she wouldn’t want him to avoid his problems forever.  He was already late for class, but he didn’t want to stay at home any longer, so he picked up his stuff and headed out, ignoring the voices arguing in his head telling him that even the unforgivable must be forgiven at some point.

* * *

As soon as Jinyoung received the text that Mark was waiting outside, he ran downstairs.

“Be careful!  Where are you going?” Kwon yelled at him from the kitchen.

“Told you, going out for dinner tonight!”

“Ah, with Mark, right?” Kwon always said his name with a funny emphasis.

“Yeah, with Mark.”  Jinyoung said as Kwon gave him knowing eyes.  He couldn’t have known anything right?  They were best friends, so it wasn’t weird for them to hang out this much.

“Alright, have fun; get home before I leave for work!”  Jinyoung was an adult and didn’t need a curfew, but he still felt bad not listening to Kwon, especially when he was just looking out for his safety.  “Or let me know if you’ll be later than that.”

“I’ll be back before then, don’t worry.”  He rarely voiced it with words, but Kwon felt a heavy responsibility for Jinyoung since he knew he was the only family Jinyoung had left to depend on.

Once Kwon waved him away he started speed walking downstairs and out the door where Mark was leaning against the side of his lemon of a car, looking effortlessly handsome in a graphic tee and ripped jeans.

“Hey,”  Jinyoung tried to keep it casual, even though all he wanted to do was leap into Mark’s arms and never let go.  “Sorry to keep you waiting.”  He missed him more than usual.

“Hey yourself.”  Mark smirked, the same smirk he had in the cursed picture he had sent only two days before.  That cursed picture that had Jinyoung excusing himself from lectures just to run to the washroom to stare at it.  Those pictures that had him so riled up almost sobbed when Mark said he was too busy with classes and he couldn’t see him until today. 

Mark yawned, he tried to cover it up but it slipped out before he had the chance to hide it.  Jinyoung noticed his eye bags were heavier than usual and his eyes tinged with red.  “Did you sleep last night?”

“I told you my bed is not the most comfortable, so it’s hard for me to fall asleep,”  Mark said.  “The classes these past two days have eaten away at me as well, you know how it is.”

“I know how it is because I pay attention to lectures, you, however...”

“Ya!”  Mark said, playfully hitting him.  “Just get in the car; we’re going out for some fine dining tonight.”  They hadn’t exactly called it a date, but Jinyoung assumed this was a date.  It was also something they would do if they weren’t dating, so it didn’t feel like anything special.

“I thought we were going out for burgers and milkshakes?”

“That’s what I said, fine dining.”  Mark said as he climbed into the front seat.  “The finest of American cuisine.”  Mark tried to hold back his giggles but they were both a little too giddy for their own good.

Jinyoung pulled on the already open back door, sliding into the seat diagonal from Mark today so he could get a better glimpse at him, but it was still too far to touch him.  The pictures had him feeling so antsy over the past two days, all he wanted was to witness those body dips and curves with his own eyes, but he’s scared of being too forward since the last time.  He knew he would embarrass himself with his inexperience again.

Still, he was too far.

Slowly, he clicked the door back open and walked out, opening the passenger side instead and getting in, sitting right next to Mark in front.

“Jinyoung, what are you doing?”  Mark was staring at him as if he had lost his mind.

“Buckling my seatbelt, safety first.”  Jinyoung said as he clicked the belt in place and stared back at Mark, who was still speechless.

“You don’t have to sit there,”  Mark started.  “I know you can’t-”

“Yes, I can sit wherever I want.”  Jinyoung huffed.  “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

The front seat had been a weird place for Jinyoung since the incident.  This was where his mom sat during the car crash that led to her passing.

Ever since then, he’s sat in the driver’s seat, the back seat, but never the passenger seat.

Mark was supportive, always letting him sit in the back and driving him around as he pleased.  He never said a word about it in years, and Jinyoung never brought it up again.

He realized though, just like driving, he couldn’t avoid it forever.  One step out of his comfort zone today and maybe one day he would be running along an entirely different path- free of all the obstacles that were holding him back from what he truly wanted.

Jinyoung placed his hand over Mark’s atop the center console.  “I like it up here,”  He smiled.

Mark scrunched his eyebrows together like he was trying to think of the right question to ask.  Instead, he interlocked his fingers with Jinyoung’s and smiled.  “Okay, if you’re sure.”  He brought Jinyoung’s hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on his knuckles.

Jinyoung flushed, leaning over the console and quickly kissing him on the lips in response.  “Okay, that’s enough, drive or we might not make it to the restaurant.”

“Are you sure?  We could just go back to my dorm-”

“You said Jackson’s there today.”

“He is but-”

“No, drive.”  Jinyoung retorted.  “I do need to eat dinner at some point.”  Also, Jinyoung didn’t know if he could ever face Jackson again after the incident.

“Fine,”  Mark said, as the engine screeched to life.  “I might not be able to concentrate on the road with you sitting so close to me now.”

Jinyoung interlocked their fingers again on the console.  

“Get used to it; I don’t want to go back.”  He really didn’t.

* * *

“Which one should I eat first?”  Mark asked, staring at the two burgers in front of him.

“I can’t believe you got both because you couldn’t decide between chicken or beef.”  

“I wanted to try both.”  Mark whined.

“At least let me try them too.”  Jinyoung said; opening his mouth as Mark fed him another fry.

“You know, you have hands too.” 

“You’re the one who started feeding me first.”  Jinyoung picked up a bunch of fries and shoved them towards Mark’s mouth instead.

“Hey!”  Mark swatted the fries away knowing he couldn’t fit all of them in his mouth.  “Stop!”

Jinyoung laughed and put the fries back down.  “You started it.”

“And now I’m ending it!”  Mark scooted their shared fries container over to his side to hog it all for himself.  

“Fine, I can feed myself, I’m not a baby.”

“That’s yet to be proven.”

Jinyoung almost choked on his vanilla milkshake.  “Wow, you gain a few muscles and suddenly I’m a baby?”

“You’ve always been the baby in this relationship.”  

“You were whining over burgers a minute ago.”  

“One whine does not define how I am all the time.”  Jinyoung started giggling again at that sentence. 

“Wow, the rhyme! Have you ever considered a career in rapping?”  Jinyoung pretended to have a microphone in his hand.  “Yo yo yo, MT from LA here tonight, what a cool sight.”  Jinyoung rapped.

Mark was almost crying with laughter at this point.  “Stop!”  

Jinyoung couldn’t stop laughing too- these were the moments he cherished most, even when they were only best friends.  Jinyoung was certain even back then that he didn’t want to spend his life away from Mark.  Maybe he should’ve realized sooner that he was already in love with Mark shortly after he met him.

“Don’t choke on your food; I’m not responsible for any injury.”

“You literally tried to suffocate me with fries, I’m sure the police could frame that as assault with a deadly weapon.”

“Oh no!  Not the deadliest weapon of all, deep-fried potato!”

Mark burst into laughter again and Jinyoung knew he was going to drop it as always.  Jinyoung always won.  

“Whatever, eat your fries and be quiet.  That’s enough talking for the evening.”  Mark said as he began to work at his burgers again, eating them as if he hadn’t eaten anything in weeks.

Jinyoung continued to laugh to himself, trying to sip on his milkshake to not so much success.

By the time Mark had inhaled both of his burgers Jinyoung had finished his fries and shake.  “You ready to go?”  Mark asked, wiping all the crumbs off his mouth.

“No,”  Jinyoung said matter-of-factly.  “I told Kwon I won’t be out too late, but it’s still so early.  I can stay maybe another half an hour.”

“There’s not much we can do, but I won’t force you to go home,”  Mark said, throwing both of their trash away and taking Jinyoung by the hand as he got up.  “I don’t want to leave right away either.”

“Let’s drive around?”

“You sure the car isn’t going to give out on us?”  Mark joked.

“I’ll take the chance.”  Jinyoung smiled as Mark guided him out of the restaurant, but his mind suddenly snapped back to reality as he felt eyes on them.  He suddenly let go of Mark’s hand, realizing it might’ve been too forward to hold hands like that in public.  “Sorry.”

“It’s not weird to hold hands.”

“I… we can hold hands once we get to the car.”

Mark seemed a bit dejected, but he nodded in agreement as they walked to the car.

As soon as Mark was in the front and Jinyoung was on the passenger side he leaned over and kissed Mark on the lips in an unspoken apology. 

Mark smiled lightly; resting his hand on top of Jinyoung’s just like before.  “Anywhere special you want to go?”

“No, just drive.”  Jinyoung said, feeling much more comfortable they weren’t being watched.

They drove around in comfortable silence for a bit, Jinyoung simply enjoying how hot Mark looked when he drove with one hand, rubbing circles into Jinyoung’s palm with his other hand.

Then Jinyoung’s phone started vibrating in his lap, ruining the moment.

“Who’s that?  Is your uncle worried already?”

“No,”  Jinyoung said, frowning when he said the caller ID.  “It’s my aunt.”  He knew she wouldn’t give up that easily.

“Ew,”  Mark scrunched his nose.  “Are you going to pick up?”

“No, I already spoke to her today.”

“I thought you never wanted to speak to her again after that huge fight you got into when you moved out.”

“I always ignore her calls, but she somehow got Kwon’s number and started calling him, so I had to call her to straighten things out.”  

“Is she a stalker or something?  What did she want?”

“They’re going to visit my father on the weekend; she wanted to ask if I wanted to come.”

“Oh,”  Mark said, glancing over to judge Jinyoung’s expression.  “You’re not going, right?”

“Of course not,”  Usually, when he spoke about his father it would be with a lot more hatred, but he’s been trying to think through a lot of things recently, which had him feeling utterly confused.  “I have no reason to.”

They were silent again until the phone finally stopped vibrating, but then it started again.

Jinyoung was more hesitant about ignoring it this time.  He knew she only wanted to chastise him, but he suddenly felt sick to his stomach for doing this. 

“Hey, Jinyoungie,”  Mark said as they pulled up to a red light.  “Is that her again?”

“Yes-”  Mark suddenly removed his hand from Jinyoung’s and started fishing around on his lap, taking his phone and throwing it into the backseat.  The vibrating was faint enough they could barely hear it now.

“Problem solved, don’t worry yourself over someone who doesn’t give a shit about you, alright?”  

Mark knew firsthand how rough his aunt was since he was there the day he moved out.  Jinyoung had to hold him back from punching her in the face- he was really upset.

He never answered her before, why was he suddenly feeling guilty today?  “Sorry, I don’t know what’s been going on with me recently; everything’s making me so uneasy.”

“I can tell,”  Mark said; his hand had moved to permanently reside on Jinyoung’s thigh after he had grabbed the phone from him.  The soothing circles were now being rubbed there, which Jinyoung wasn’t so sure how soothing they were considering he’d never had Mark’s hand so high up his thigh before and the feeling turned Jinyoung on more than calmed him.   “Your breathing still hasn’t slowed down.”

“I’m fine.”  He wished Mark’s hand would get off his thigh, but instead Mark left it there for the entire ride back, his fingers digging into flesh.

Relief flooded him when they finally pulled up behind Kwon’s house and Mark turned the engine off, leaving them both in the silence of the night.

They both sat there for a moment, neither wanting to say goodbye yet but neither knowing how to approach this unresolved tension in the air.

“I should get home.”  Jinyoung started, but Mark’s hand didn’t move from his thigh.

“Wait,” Mark’s expression was hard to read, but Jinyoung knew he had something on his mind. “Um.”

It was dark outside, the inside of the car only barely lit up from the street lamps, but he could still see a tinge of red on Mark’s cheeks.  “What is it?”  

“I can’t let you leave without saying… I meant to bring this up this whole time… sorry about what happened last time.  I really didn’t know Jackson would come home so early.”  He said all in one breath.  “I promise I’ll be more careful next time, I know when you’re affected by things.”

Honestly, Jinyoung had almost forgotten the incident because he was so happy to see Mark but the memories came flooding back much too quickly.  It did make him feel marginally better that even though Mark had seemed unaffected through text; it was also wracking his mind for the past few days.  Mark had probably sent him such lighthearted texts because he knew exactly how embarrassed Jinyoung was.

Again, when he thought he had to upper hand it was still always Mark showing him he was way more in tune with Jinyoung’s feelings than he let on.  Jinyoung’s mind was always telling him that because he was the one always overthinking while Mark was so relaxed it meant he didn’t put as much thought into the situation, and he had to scold himself every time he thought like this.  Mark has shown time and time again he’s always looking out for him quietly and surely.  It was one of the reasons he loved him so much.

“Don’t worry about it, I was half the problem technically,”  He knew outright saying that must’ve been hard for Mark, so he didn’t want to dwell and make him feel worse. “The apology pictures were enough already, I didn’t expect you to say anything.”

“Somehow, it doesn’t surprise me you’re a man easily swayed by a little skin.”  Mark suddenly went back to teasing and Jinyoung knew he’d said the right thing.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It was pretty obvious from that time you were literally glaring at me at the pool.”

“What...”  Jinyoung muttered.  “There was no way you could see me from that high up…”

“No, it was pretty obvious since you were the only person there practically pressed up against the railing.”  Mark laughed.  “Actually, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure but you kind of confirmed it.”

Jinyoung felt himself heating up again, turning his head away from Mark.  They were only talking and he still managed to embarrass himself.

“Sorry,”  Mark flicked his seatbelt off so he could lean over, shaking Jinyoung’s thigh until he would look at him.  “I did it again.”

Mark was looking up at him with those doe eyes that made him look a hundred shades of innocent he was absolutely not.  “Did what again?”

“Embarrass you,”  Mark took his hand off Jinyoung’s thigh, the tension in his knees finally fading.  “Although, you’re cutest when your ears are as red as a tomato.”  Mark said as he poked Jinyoung’s ear.

_Stupid cursed huge ears.  Betrayed once again._ “Shut up, please shut up,”  Jinyoung couldn’t decide if he’s ashamed, turned on, or terrified of all the things Mark made him feel.  Jinyoung reached for the car door but he felt Mark climbing over the center console right on top of him, forcing him to stay.  “Mark!”

“Don’t leave yet, please.”  Mark said. 

Mark was awkwardly on top of Jinyoung, so he had to situate himself until he found somewhere comfy, which was with his legs splayed on either side of Jinyoung’s thighs, the worst position for peace of mind.  He took a deep breath.  “What. Are you doing?”

“Apologizing.” Jinyoung didn’t have time to question it before he twirled one of his long fingers around the fabric of his shirt, lifting it up so Jinyoung’s only sight was the expanse of flesh that had been constantly on his mind.

“Wait!”  Jinyoung said, forcibly pulling Mark’s shirt back down.  “We’re in public...”

“This place is deserted.”  Mark pointed out the window to where it _was_ deserted behind the bar.  He was the only one who parked here, and his uncle was unlikely to come down the back since the club was in front.  

“But, still!” Mark was higher from being on his lap, so anyone who even glanced through the window would see him.  

“But Jinyoungie,”  Mark said, pulling his shirt from Jinyoung’s fingers and slowly hiking it back up.  “I’m trying to apologize.”  He said in sing-song and this time Jinyoung couldn't pry his eyes away.  His mind would shut off and he always started thinking with his lower half.  He knew Mark knew he was weak.

The expanse of soft skin was much too overwhelming.  The barely-there lighting was casting all sorts of alluring shadows between all the dips and curves of his slight ab definition and slender waist.  All he could do was stare as Mark pulled his shirt up more, revealing dark nipples and firm pecs.  This was much more than the picture offered and Jinyoung was.  Overwhelmed?  Overwhelmed was an understatement.

“You don’t have to stare, Jinyoungie, it’s not a picture this time.”  Mark was smirking as he spoke, finding Jinyoung’s hand and peeling it off of Mark’s thigh and laying it flat over his stomach.

It was warm, fleshy, and a thousand times better than any daydream Jinyoung had conjured up in the past two days.  

He hadn’t touched anyone like this before, so he ran his hands over Mark’s stomach like he was handling the finest China he owned- one small misstep and he would break.  

Mark didn’t seem to mind Jinyoung’s slow movements, his eyes examining him as he moved, not rushing him nor stopping him.

His hands moved higher, the outline of abs leading into pecs, then Jinyoung let his hands brush over Mark’s nipple and he finally incited a visible reaction from Mark.  A sharp breath and a slight roll of the hips.  Jinyoung wasn’t expecting it, he had to remove his hand and clasp it over his mouth before any embarrassing noises slipped out.

“Oops,”  Mark put Jinyoung’s hand back on his chest, laying it flat over his pec again.  “That was not a bad reaction.”

“I know- I was just surprised.”  Jinyoung hadn’t felt this apprehension before.  He wanted to surge forward, but this feeling of anxiousness wouldn’t leave him.  He was scared of losing himself in the moment and doing something stupid again.

Mark couldn’t hear his inner thoughts, but it felt like he understood, he dropped his shirt and pulled Jinyoung in for a soft kiss.  “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to- I thought after the last time you… wanted to take it further?” Mark’s face finally faltered, letting his unease peek through.  “I’ve been thinking about you a lot since then, but if you don’t want it anymore-”

“I want it-”  Jinyoung interjected almost too quickly.  “It’s just… I feel so new to this and you’re so experienced I feel like whatever I do would be embarrassing.” 

“Jinyoungie… I know I tease you a lot but there isn’t anything you could do that I wouldn’t appreciate.  Hell, sometimes I get a little flustered when you stare too deeply into my eyes.” 

Jinyoung smiled at that.  He always assumed he liked Mark more than Mark liked him, more flawed reasoning from the depths of his mind.

“Secondly, um.”  Mark let his eyes wander down far away from Jinyoung’s gaze.  “I haven’t done any of this stuff either with a guy, so it’s not like I know more than you, so really, don’t worry.”  He said in a hurry.

“You haven’t?  B-but, you seem so confident all the time-”  Jinyoung now felt even more stupid.

“Confident?  I was trying to make you feel less awkward, if we were both awkward this it would be much worse.”  Mark paused.  “I guess it didn’t work.”

Jinyoung felt like an idiot now, he really couldn’t see how this might have been Mark’s first time doing all of this.  “How?”

“How?”

“How are you so good at this kind of stuff?”  Jinyoung studied Mark’s face, still caught between concern and excitement,

“I’m not good at it, but I’ll take the compliment,”  Mark smiled, kissing Jinyoung on the lips softly again. “Perhaps it’s because I’ve rehearsed this so many times in my mind, it comes more naturally.”

Jinyoung thought about Mark a lot too, but in his mind, there was a huge difference between dreams and reality, the thought of them suddenly colliding made him more anxious than excited.  “You think about me a lot?”

“I can’t get you out of my head-”

“No, I mean,”  Jinyoung adjusted himself in the seat, suddenly remembering the compromising position they were in as he felt Mark adjust himself as well.  “Like this?”

“What, with me on top of you? Of course.”

Jinyoung had meant in a sexual way in general, but he got a more interesting answer instead.  “What exactly?”

“The details?”  Mark leaned in so his lips were ghosting Jinyoung’s ear.  “What do you want to know?”  Mark whispered.

Jinyoung felt tingles down his spine, Mark’s voice in his ear low and sultry.  He was doing it on purpose, of course.  “Everything.”  

Mark smiled, reaching down and pulling his shirt back up, over his head this time, discarding it back in the driver’s seat.  “Well, in my head I’m usually wearing fewer clothes, and so are you.”  

“A given,”  Jinyoung swallowed and Mark’s hips started moving back and forth, giving him that sweet friction he had missed so dearly.  “What else?”

“We’re somewhere dangerous, like on top of the teacher’s desk before class starts or something.”

“Isn’t that _too_ dangerous?!”  Mark’s hips suddenly stopped.

“Hey, my fantasy, so we don’t get caught, but it’s still exciting.”  Mark said.

Jinyoung wasn’t sure how he felt about Mark possibly being an exhibitionist, the fact he was shirtless on his lap in the front seat of his car should’ve been the first clue, really.  “Alright, fine, we’re desecrating public property.”

“Do you really have to put it like that?”

“I meant it in the hottest way.”  Jinyoung had to laugh at himself a bit, that statement was rather uptight.

“Ok, we’ll adjust the fantasy to your taste, let’s say we’re in the front seat of a car, I’m on top of you, um”  Mark stared at Jinyoung for a second, “Kind of like this.”

Mark’s nervousness was almost like a breath of fresh air, perhaps he wasn’t perfect after all.  Jinyoung could tell he was having a hard time voicing out what was in his head.  Mark had always been more for showing rather than telling.  “I like it.”  Jinyoung put his hands back on Mark’s chest, urging him to start moving again.

Mark obliged, grinding his hips harder down than last time, Jinyoung’s head falling back against the car seat in bliss.  He was only snapped out of his reverie by Mark’s hand playing with the button of his jeans, holding eye contact until he got some sort of signal to move forward.

Jinyoung hesitated, the next step feeling more like a leap.  He didn’t want it to end up like last time either where things didn’t reach the level he wanted, but he didn’t want to feel completely useless while Mark did everything.  “No,”  Jinyoung removed Mark’s hand from his jeans and put them against the hem of Mark’s jeans instead.  “You first.”

He obliged almost too easily, his slender fingers popping the button open and pulling the zipper down, leaving Jinyoung with the sight of his bright red boxers.  The thickness of the apparent bulge gave Jinyoung a rush of confidence.  _He_ caused that.

“What happens next?”  Jinyoung asked.

“In my fantasies, or…”

“In your fantasies.”  Jinyoung urged.

“Well,”  Mark still looked like he was on edge.  “You’d put your hand back on my chest,”  Jinyoung followed immediately, hoping that Mark got the picture.  “Then you’d trail it down slowly, until...”  

Jinyoung followed Mark’s words until he reached the hem of his boxers.  “Until?”

Mark licked his lips.  “They slide past my boxers.”  He said full of hesitation, knowing what would come next.

Jinyoung took a breath; there was nothing scary about this, right?  Technically he had a dick too, it’s not like this was foreign territory.  Why was his heart beating so erratically in that case?

So slowly, his fingers slid past the hem, just like Mark said, brushing past a patch of hair and down to the base of Mark’s shaft.

The first thing he noticed was the protruding vein right on top, smooth and hard beneath his fingertips.  He followed it, pulling down Mark’s boxers in the process until his dick was free, springing up in an almost comical way.

Jinyoung’s hand froze, he couldn’t help but stare.  Mark was slightly thinner than Jinyoung, he estimated, but maybe a touch longer?  So many more veins and he couldn’t shake the urge to kiss them all-

“Jinyoung?”  Mark brushed some hair away from Jinyoung’s face, not missing the way Mark glanced at his still fresh piercing.  “I’m kind of suffering here, why did you stop?”

“Oh,”  Jinyoung felt hot again, but Mark seemed like he was losing it himself.  “Sorry.”  Jinyoung let his fingers trail further down, still following the thick vein until he reached the tip, closing his hand around the head and palming him firmly, as he would do if he were touching himself.

That elicited the most stunning reaction yet, Mark’s head dipping back and a sharp release of breath.  Jinyoung felt like he was holding the entire world’s power in his hand.

He started stroking with more confidence as the reactions kept spilling from Mark’s lips, it started with staggered breaths then turned into soft moans.  With each stroke Jinyoung felt his own pants getting tighter, the way Mark looked when he was being pleasured was mind-blowingly attractive and it turned Jinyoung on to no end.

“ _Fuck_ ,”  Mark whispered to Jinyoung as he focused in on the tip, knowing that’s where he was likely most sensitive.  “Right there.” 

Jinyoung couldn’t take it anymore; the swearing was the last straw.  He didn’t want a repeat of last time where he came too early and made a complete mess, so he quickly unzipped his pants, his free hand sliding swiftly down his underwear and grasping at his cock, the sweet gratification of finally having that holy friction almost made him start swearing himself.

Mark craned his neck back down, seeing that Jinyoung was now touching himself as well.  Jinyoung would’ve been ashamed if he wasn’t so horny- all shame was completely gone when you absolutely needed to get off.  He was reeking of desperation.

“Holy shit, wait,”  Mark said as he grabbed both of Jinyoung’s arms to stop him.  He didn’t realize how sore his wrists were getting until that moment.  “Don’t hurt yourself; let me take care of it.”

Mark pushed Jinyoung's pants and underwear down more, so his dick was free as well.  He felt weird, nobody had ever seen him like this, and he did not think it would ever happen in the front seat of a _car._ Nothing about their relationship had been quite as elegant as Jinyoung had imagined, but it didn’t matter.  He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Mark scooted forward as far as he could, using his long fingers to wrap around and press their cocks together.  It only took one stroke before Mark was dripping with pre-cum, their shaky breaths in the silent parking lot felt deafening in Jinyoung’s ears.

The slickness helped as Mark stroked them both at a quick pace.  Jinyoung could tell he was desperate to get off at this point; Jinyoung’s slower strokes had edged him to the point of no return.

Jinyoung’s breaths soon fade into moans, too hard to hold them back.  They spill from his lips in the form of Mark’s name, repeated over and over, sometimes he’d get the whole name out but at times he could only offer up a _maaahhmmm_ as the tension built rapidly in his loins.

It was quite clear that even though he’d lasted longer than last time, it was too hard to hold back any longer; especially when Mark was looking directly at him with glassy eyes, the noises now loud enough if anyone were there they probably could have heard them through the closed windows.  He tried to lean in for a kiss but it was more like a wet pressing of their lips, Mark’s whispered swears mixing with Jinyoung soft whines.  They couldn’t hold back anymore.

Mark reached his climax with a staggering hiss of Jinyoung’s name, milking himself to the last drop, the sticky white liquid trailing down both their cocks.  The sight alone was enough to push Jinyoung over the edge shortly after, the coils unraveling and the electricity surging through his veins, their cum mixing and making an even bigger mess.

Jinyoung was still trying to breathe properly when Mark was suddenly crawling off his lap and scrambling over the console and into the back seat.  What the hell?

“Oh shit, don’t worry I’ll clean it up.”  Mark said and he grabbed a full roll of paper towel from somewhere on the floor in the back.  That’s when Jinyoung realized all the cum was leaking onto his shirt and pants that were still partly on.  That… might’ve been a problem.

Mark haphazardly ripped four full sheets of paper towel off the roll and started patting Jinyoung like he’d never cleaned up a spill in his entire life; the dabbing was most likely making it worse.

“Don’t worry, let me-”  Jinyoung said as he finally snapped out of his post-orgasm haze wiping up the mess as best he could but it was too late.  There was a huge still noticeable white stain on his black jeans.  

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize,”  Jinyoung almost wanted to laugh, how was this the first thing Mark was thinking about after they literally had their first real sexual experience together?  This man never ceases to amaze him.  “It’s not your fault.”

Jinyoung stared at the time on the dashboard, now he was way late.  Kwon probably already left for the club, he would probably be pissed when he got back in the morning, but he was saved from judgement for the moment.  He quickly pulled his pants back up and straightened his shirt.

“I’m sorry, you’re late now.”

“Stop apologizing!” Mark had made his way back into the driver’s seat, his shirt still off and his pants only lazily pulled up.  Jinyoung crawled over and gave him a kiss on the lips to calm him down.  “That was… amazing.  Alright?  Amazing.”

“Yeah… yeah, it was.”  Jinyoung smiled and Mark mirrored him, the strain disappearing from his features.  

“Kwon probably left already, so don’t worry.  He won’t be upset; I just need to text him so he knows I’m okay.”  In reality, Jinyoung didn’t want Mark to leave, but he knew he needed a full night to himself to process all the events that transpired.  He also didn’t trust himself staying alone with Mark any longer while he was looking so mussed and sexy.

“Okay.”  Jinyoung dug around and picked up Mark’s shirt for him, throwing it at his chest.  “Please cover up or I might consider staying longer.”

“Of course.”  Jinyoung was about to leave, but then he heard Mark laughing.  “Hard to text your uncle without your phone.”  Mark pointed to the backseat where Mark had thrown it earlier.

Jinyoung quickly grabbed it and gave Mark a look so that he would stop teasing.  

“Okay,”  Jinyoung was ready to say goodbye but Mark had to pull him in for another quick peck, which turned into some tongue, and oh god did five more minutes suddenly pass by?  “Mark!”

“Sorry, sorry, go on.”  They were both laughing now as Jinyoung finally climbed out of the car, blowing Mark a kiss through the window, feeling the most assured of anything he had felt in a while.  

He couldn’t picture himself with anyone but Mark.

Mark caught the kiss and pressed it to his chest, squishing his face together in the most adorable smile as he did.  Jinyoung would probably melt into a puddle before he managed to get up the stairs to the apartment.  

He was so happy walking in he almost didn’t notice Kwon sitting at the kitchen counter, nursing an empty bowl of cereal and staring directly at him.  That scared the crap out of him.  “Kwon?!”

“I thought you would be home before work started?”  Kwon didn’t seem exactly angry, just confused.

“Ah, I meant to text you, we drove around for a bit and got lost, sorry, and shouldn’t you be at work?”  He knew he looked like a mess, wrinkles all over his clothes and his hair pushed out of place.

“I told Kim Kim to open for me, I’ll only be about half an hour late anyway,”  Kwon said.  “Just wanted to make sure you’re safe.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that, really.”  Jinyoung was stuttering, he really hoped he wouldn’t notice-

“What happened to your pants?”

_Shit,_ he was so sure the stain wasn’t that obvious.  “Ah, you know I’m clumsy I spilled um, mayonnaise on myself.  I told you we were going out for burgers, right?”

Kwon quirked an eyebrow.  “Did you spill the whole bottle?”

“It’s not that much!”  Jinyoung said before he could stop himself, but Kwon just laughed at him.

“I’m kidding; you want me to wash that-”

“No!  I’ll wash it myself!  Don’t worry!”  Jinyoung was hoping the amount of redness creeping up his ears and across his face wasn’t completely blowing his cover.  

“Alright,”  Kwon adjusted his wig before picking up his bag and heading for the door, mildly amused but not wanting to push any further.  “Get some sleep.”

With that Jinyoung was finally left alone, and he crumpled to the floor in relief.  He didn’t think anything would be more awkward than last week, but somehow life always found a way to one-up him.

As he walked through the living room he caught a glimpse at the picture of his mom, and he immediately felt attacked.  It’s like she knew about every single thing he had done that night and she was judging him.

So he quickly stepped over to the picture frame, whispering a quick apology, especially for defiling the passenger side seat.  He wasn’t particularly proud of that fact now.

He walked up the stairs to his room and dumped his pants into his sink and soaked them with cleaner so hopefully, by the morning there would be no more stains, before sinking into his bed, letting the sounds of music drown out his thoughts so he could sleep.

It didn’t work though, all he could think about were Mark’s quiet moans and the way his pecs flexed as you stroked him and that look on his face when pushed over the edge- ugh.

Jinyoung knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight so he did exactly what he did the past few nights and stuck his hand down his pants and pulled up those photos of Mark, now with much more material to fuel his fantasies.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter @jagseunie ^^


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